Ever Wonder? #2

May 27, 2011

Okay, so lately I’ve been thinking about my creaky joints. Well, my whole body really, but joints in particular. I’m in my mid-20’s and now I’m starting to notice that I am getting a few of those “aches and pains” that old people always talk about.

Now I’m a naturally non-bendable person. When I do push-ups I can’t even put my weight on my palms. I have to make a fist and put the weight on my knuckles. This is because my wrists doesn’t like it when I try to put it in a 90 degree angle.

So I have this dream about repairing/updating my body. What if I could just reboot it and everything could be fresh again. Not through some surgery, but more like a gigantic break-down and build-up. Every cell. Displaced and then replaced. All the bad stuff goes away. All the damage is repaired. Awesome, right?

Think about it. You have no past strain on any of those old muscles. The back in particular. No weird cracks as you get out of bed. Bones are in their right places. Imagine that It’s so perfect you couldn’t even pop you fingers because everything is so right.

This doesn’t mean it makes me ageless. Just realigns everything. Am I the only person to ever wonder about this?

I guess I could just get a massage if I really wanted to feel refreshed, but I’m not a touch-feely kind of guy. I’m more of a I’d-rather-have-some-sort-of-unimaginable-wholesale-reconfiguring-rather-than-have-some-stranger-touch-my-back kind of guy.

As for the subject of my last post:

I did it. I got something done.

The name of that something will be Charlie 3. The something is my new short story.

“So D.A., can you sum it up in 8 words or less?”

Sure can:

Soldiers preparing to drop on target. Certain death.

Don’t worry. It’s not a commentary on the wars in Iraq, Afghanistan, Lybia, or anything else. And it ‘s not heavy. So you won’t feel bad afterwards. Makes you wonder how this could be true with my 8 word summary. I guess you’ll just have to read to find out.


5 Responses to “Ever Wonder? #2”

  1. You do fist push-ups too? I thought I was the only one!

    • Is it for the same purposes? Do your wrists hate you as well? Or do you just use your knuckles because you’re so boss you couldn’t see yourself doing it any other way?

      I’m willing to bet it’s the latter.

      Oh no. I’m starting to think of this made up background for you. You’re a secret agent for the C.I.A. You are an expert in 13 different martial arts. You can bring a man down with your stare. Bombs and missiles are commonly defused by your quick work using only a tooth pick, your car keys, and half an orange. Whenever you work out there’s a song by Survivor playing in the background. You walk away from explosions at least 3 times a week. Your boss always calls you “tough as nails” or “a loose cannon” and he aways threatens to take away your badge. You have a very nice and caring blog that doubles as a secret message drop point for you and your fellow agents.

      You know what, I’m probably going to believe this. You are now a covert agent in my eyes…

      How many people have you killed? How many cars have you blow up using only your trusty S&W 44 Magnum you affectionately call “Bessie”? Did you kill Osama?

      Back to the point:

      I’m a wuss and I would love to use my palms. Especially when there’s a little sandy grit on the floor. But a “tough as nails” agent like yourself doesn’t even feel it. Heck, you probably enjoy it a little…

      • You are the first person to see through my facade! Although, you got my Magnum’s name wrong. It’s LaFawnda. ;)

      • Always and forever
        Always and forev-:::sobs:::

        I hope you’re as big of a fan of Napoleon Dynamite as I hope you are, then you’ll totally get that. It’s one of my favorite parts as well.

  2. I love technology.
    but not as much as you, you see.
    Still, I love technology.


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