Jungle Post # 2

July 31, 2011

Another quick post.

All animals are still alive.

Getting a little worried about getting everything organized to start school. I have a lot to do, and less than a month to get there. If you’re a teacher/educator and have some cool resources for a beginning teacher in a high school setting, please, feel free to let me know about them.

I’m particularly interested in anything concerning a syllabus and organizing your classroom. Should I buy folders to give the kids for a notebook check? Notebooks? Should I worry about buying my own dry erase markers? What about an assignment turn-in procedure? Should I have a bin? Should I just pick them up during a specific period in the class?

I dunno…just thinking about a lot of things.

D.A.

(I know what you’re thinking. “What a strange title.”)

Very brief here:

Dogs = Still alive

Cat = Mostly alive

Turtle = Hard to tell

50 + geckos = Hiding, but assumed to be alive

3 legged bullfrog named Pete = Totally alive

Gecko eggs = Potentially alive

Yup, things are going swimmingly after the “Pooped-in-bed” fiasco (as it’s now known in certain circles).

In the meantime, I would love to hear your opinion about something.

I am looking for a new album to download, but I have idea about what it should be (first world problem, right?).

I dunno, maybe I’ve just being indecisive. Either way, let me know what your favorite album is in the comment section. Hey, it doesn’t even have to be your “favorite album” but it could be your biggest guilty pleasure album. Even your most disliked album.

Don’t have an album? Just give me an artist!

Don’t have an artist? Give me a song!

Don’t have any music at all? Well, you should, music is pretty wonderful…

Thanks!

D.A.

 

 

No Sleep

July 27, 2011

I’m currently with no wireless internet connection. I’m surrounded by 1 turtle, 1 frog, 2 dogs, 1 cat, 30 gecko eggs, and 50 full grown geckos. I’ve only had about 4 hours of sleep in the past 48 hours. Keep in mind that time was not in a consistent manner.

No, I did not ventrure to a compound in the Amazon jungle.

No, I haven’t committed to hiding in a zoo and trying to blog from there.

No, I’m not even that upset about anything that’s happened.

I’m just house sitting. House sitting a house that’s full of animals and no snack food…

Now it’s time for a word of advice about sleep:

Hypothetically speaking. If you are ever asked to do a favor for (let’s say) your aunt, and she just happens to ask you if you’d be willing to drive them to the airport at 3 in the morning. And if you say ‘yes’. Then, for the love of all things that are good and kind in the world, take a nap before you do so.

When in doubt, nap.

Now I’m going to try and get some rest. Sweet, sweet rest.

P.S. The lack of sleep was due to a dog(s) taking a dump and peeing in the bed I was supposed to be sleeping in. I had to sleep on the couch. No fun.

D.A.

The Results Are In…

July 23, 2011

Well…

I took my test today. And yes, the results are in, but that doesn’t mean I’m just going to tell you what they are. That wouldn’t be any fun. You’re going to have to read this post in order to know the outcome. (That is, if I even let you know at all.)

Now let me tell you something about tests.

I hate them.

You know why? Because I’m really good at getting nervous.

It’s a special ability I have managed to inherit/develop in my life. I can even manage to get worried about things that are completely out of my control, despite my best efforts for trying otherwise. It’s on par with being at a level that may qualify me to become a superhero. Or, rather, a super lame superhero.

The test that I took today was called Middle Grades General Science 5 – 9. A deceptive title. This isn’t a test that only covers middle school science topics. It’s not written to be taken my 7th graders. It’s made for grown-ups who are supposed to pretend that they know everything about everything. And everything is just about right. This test covers some of the basic principles and definitions for everything I’ve ever learned in science in my entire life. Physics, Chemistry, Biology, Astronomy, Geology, and Student Safety are all possibilities for questions.

Have I mentioned that I’m not very good at chemistry?

:::Rodney Dangerfield voice:::

Ask the last girl I dated.

(Que the rim shot)

Get it? Chemistry? Dating? Ugh, nevermind.

Rodney would be proud though. 

Seriously folks, I’m not very knowledgeable in the field of chemistry. As a matter of fact, I have somehow managed to graduate while not taking Biochemistry, Organic Chemistry, and any course above Chemistry II. The only class in high school that I got a C in was Chemistry. And I only got the C because I opted out of taking a final exam and did a research project. That might have saved my grade from a D – to a C -.

Physics is something I really enjoy, and can do it, but just not very well. This is one of the reasons why my degree specialized in biology. It just makes more sense to me. It’s fun. It’s relateable. (So is physics to an extent, but some physics is just really hard to understand.) Not to mention, I’m not very fond of doing math.

(Now I’m starting to sound like somebody who doesn’t like anything. Sorry about that, I guess I’m still a little frazzled about the whole experience)

Yes, yes, I know the value of chemistry and physics. Both are pivotal in modern understandings of what science is. I’m in a clear mind when I see how they can both value themselves as the “central science”. And I can safely say that I see the relation between the two, as well as how they both interact with biology. But that doesn’t mean I have to know everything about them…

Unless I want to get hired.

Which I do.

Then I guess I need to know quite a bit more than I planned. Even compared to three months ago, I didn’t think I would have had to take this test.

So, after 72 hours of studying and stressing out, I took the test. It started off with mostly chemistry and then lead on to a lot of physics. Some geology was thrown in there and a sprinkling of biology. But not too much else. That made me really nervous when I was taking it. Two of the weaker areas of my knowledge base were being tested and hardly any of my strengths. I would have been happier if there would have been some random history or geography thrown in there…maybe that would have helped.

I reviewed my answers three times. I took deep breaths in order to calm down. I came back and changed answers that I was uneasy about. And when I turned it in I knew I gave it my best shot. I felt good for trying. Even if it did cost $200 to take.

Then the nice lady behind the desk handed me the results of the test. I was anxious. I don’t even think I was breathing when I turned it -over. And then it said-

But is that really the point of all this? Why does the point have to be, did I pass or fail? Maybe I gained a lot of information about myself and my knowledge base while I was studying. I could have just walked down a little path of self improvement and it only cost me a little money. Maybe I’ll say to myself, “D.A., you can do better than this. Try again.”

You know, a person who commented on my last post mentioned that I should just consider it a good thing either way. If I pass, then I get to walk forward into my career. If I fail, then It’s nothing more than a temporary delay. A learning experience either way…right?

And I totally agree with them. I hope you do too.

So maybe I’ll just not tell you. But I’m sure you’ll find out somehow.

Thanks for reading from the guy who is Supersmartandpassedthetestlikeaboss,

D.A.

Studying

July 22, 2011

I graduated from college nearly 3 months ago.

Wait a second. Three months?

That’s silly.

I have taken tests and turned in assignments to pass classes. I have gone through two internships and worked as a full time teacher, just for the experience, with no pay. I earned a degree from a large university. I took 3 different tests by the state of Florida to become a “certified” teacher. I’m the real McCoy.

Still that isn’t quiiiitttte enough for me to earn my job. I must take one more test. If I pass this test, I will be hired. I can earn the title of D.A. Bancroft “Working Stiff”.

Just one more test…

I’ll be honest, I’m pretty nervous. I have had about 72 hours to prepare, and that’s not enough in my book. I like to know things ahead of time so I can really study, rather than cram.

Still, at 10:30 a.m., I will give it my best shot. I will do this because job offers aren’t an everyday thing. Because the rest of my life may unfold before me. Because I know I can handle the challenge. Because, I don’t have anything better to do.

So wish me luck. Maybe I’ll post a “Happy I just got hired” post, or a “Sad but still determined” post.

From his worried study corner,

D.A.

 

I May or May Not

July 20, 2011

Have a job.

I dunno. Nothing is official.

I need to take a test, then if i pass it, take a urine test and get fingerprinted. But the principal basically said she wants to hire me.

This is a good day.

Stressful still….

But a good day none the less.

So, I hope you understand if I do not post on here for too much of this week. I’m going to be studying my tail off for a good portion of this week so I can pass this thing. But I will still try to make the time to vent complain worry draw ugly comics write poorly express myself on here.

Woo hoo,

D.A.

Yesterday was a day I will soon not forget. A real trying experience I tell you!

Behold my story!

Yesterday was the day of my job interview for a local high school. I was pretty amped about it because it’s close, cool, and (most importantly) might have a position made for me. I’ve known about it for a week, and haven’t let it get to me. I’ve remained pretty calm and collected. I was still excited, but I wasn’t panicking, so that was good.

I decide to wake up early (that’s read as 9 o’clock) because my interview isn’t until 2 p.m.. So, I wake up, relax, eat a small breakfast, and begin preparing for my interview. I start running through practice questions in my mind, think about my teaching philosophies/experiences, and go over my resume and reference letters. And i’m liking what my brain is telling me. If I were interviewing me, I would give me a shot.

Overall, I’m still feeling pretty good. I’m not pacing around like I usually do.

I must also mention, I’m the only person home, and we’ve had an air conditioning emergency. There is no cold air in my home because some sort of leak is causing the freeon (magical cooling fluid) to not be in my A/C unit. So, even though I am a little muggy as I try to get dressed, I’m still feeling alright. That’s only a little stressful. Like a 3 out of 10.

But I walk out of the door forgetting one thing.

My Chapstick.

I always need Chapstick because I am just one of those guys that doesn’t drink enough water I guess. Or maybe I just don’t drink enough in the morning. Point is, I need it, especially if I need to make sure my two lips don’t look like two dried out salmon. (Horrible image, sorry). And when I meet a new person that could potentially decided to hire me I think Chapstick is a good decision.

For those of you keeping score of my stress level: I have had a no A/C morning (in Florida), Preparing for job interview, and forgot my Chapstick. On a scale of 1 to 10, I would say I’m feeling around a 7. Not good at all. I am pretty stressed, but at least I know it’ll be over soon.

At least I made it to my interview on time.

Next comes the interview. It was a little strange at first but I warmed up and got some good answers in. I felt comfortable asking the principal some questions about the job and the school, and she seemed rather receptive about that. Only problem was that I kept licking my lips in order to make then not look too milky and dry. When I got in my car to drive home I looked in my mirror and realized that I had failed at that.

But at least the interview part well reasonable well. So now my stress level is at 6.

But that’s only the first half kiddies…

(Sorry for calling you kiddie.

The interview ended at 3 p.m.. That gave me enough time to go home, eat, check on the A/C repair, and then pick up my bass for practice at a church that I’m helping out. The practice begins at 5 p.m..

Personal note: I am never late. I hate being late. I WILL be there. Even if I’ve already had a defcon 7 of a day.

I do everything I am supposed to, but decide to not change out of my clothes. I figured I wasn’t going to need to do that, considering all I was going to be doing was playing an instrument and not in front of anybody to boot. I hop in my car and head on down. But maybe a mile from my house, I feel something suspicious and terrible.

My car starts feeling….lumpy. Rumbling. Flappy. I look down at my guages and look for some sign of what is happening. And a little orange tire pressure guage is on.

I have a flat tire.

And that’s it. Today is officially a 9 I think to myself. The stress of my day was supposed to be the interview. At that was it. I was supposed  to enjoy the rest of my evening.

I relize that I have to put on a spare tire. This is totally okay and expected, but I have to do it in my dress clothes. (Didn’t change, remember?). So, I take off my tie, throw all the junk out of my trunk, and begin the very dirty process of changing my tire.

I fumbled around with the world’s worst emergency car jack for about 10 minutes (thanks Toyota). And I still can’t get these lugs off with this hideous excuse for a tire iron. No leverage.

We are at a 9 and 3/4 of a stressful day. I’m going to be late. I have to buy a new tire because this one is beyond patching. The side wall has blown out (which would have been awful had I been going faster than the 35 mph I was doing). And you can’t just buy one new tire, you need at least two. So there goes more money.

I contemplate calling somebody. Maybe just skipping the very important practice entirely and giving up. I’ll try again tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Yes, if I just go home and go to sleep, things will be better.

Then a green truck pulls up. A middle aged dude pops out and says, “Hey man, car problems?”

“Mondays.” is my response.

He laughs and pulls out an awesome tire iron. One with the ability to pull the lugs off of my tire and helps me get this thing done.

After the very kind man (who, I will be honest, smelled a little bit like alcohol) left, I was able to return home and borrow somebody else’s car.

I was only late by 10 minutes.

Stress level down to 2.

That was a pretty long story, so if you read the whole thing here is an internet high five for you.

Sweet

Nailed it!

Thank you for reading a story about my Monday.

Would you like to share a stressful story with me? Feel free to do so in the comment section.

Wishing you a better days than what I just had,

D.A.

I love to read. But I’ll admit, sometimes, my eyes are bigger than what my reading pallet can handle. Sometimes, I end up in a book store and end up buying one or two books. (But only if they’re really good deals, honest). This only adds to the already too big of a backlog or reading material. Not to mention, I try to read all the blogs and comics that I subscribe to.

I recently organized my book collection to reflect my list of reading material. Since I’ve graduated from college I decided that I should be able to read more freely (Hah!). So, I’ve accumulated a number of books that I just can’t wait to get in to. Yet, even though I am enthusiastic, I’m clearly very lazy. I have barely made any progress whatsoever.

This is that list: (anything crossed out has been read, but is on there to show what I have accomplished since Christmas, not much)

  1. Return of the King (in progress)
  2. The Windup Girl (in progress)
  3. Heir to the Empire (in progress)
  4. Heaven is for Real 
  5. No Less Than Victory
  6. Dune
  7. The God Engines
  8. Boneshaker
  9. Leviathan
  10. The Yiddish Policemen’s Union
  11. The Andromeda Strain
  12. Forever Peace
  13. Love and Honor
  14. Crystal Rain
  15. Behemoth
  16. The Forever War
  17. The Fabulous Riverboat
  18. The Truce at Bakura
  19. The Last Command
  20. Dark Force Rising
  21. Little Fuzzy
  22. Plus 15 other books that I don’t own but want to

Hmm…

That’s a pretty big list. I didn’t think it was that long.

Ugh…

Anyway, my goal is to get rid of the books in progress, and then start reading one book at a time. Slow but steady. I don’t want to get any hang ups, so I’ll just make sure it’s one story at a time. I think I read faster this way anyway. I’ve never really liked reading multiple stories at one, but yet I still do it.

If I really dig in, I’m sure the entire list can be done before October. And some of these books are part of a series, so maybe I’ll read the first one, and say, “that story just wasn’t good, I’ll move on.” The best way I can think of “digging in” is to try and read around and hour or two a day. No more late nights on the internet (even if it is wildly entertaining).

Well, it looks like I’ve got quite a bit of work ahead of me.

So what are you reading, Stranger?

After I see this new Happy Potter movie tonight, I’m going to begin the arduous progress of finishing off these already started books.

So, away on my broom I go,

D.A.

 

My Fortune

July 15, 2011

Allow me to tell you about my day.

I wake up, and am asked if I can drive my (for lack of a better word) injured step-mother somewhere so she may “pick up” a book. Seems simple enough. I oblige and will be more than happy to drive her to her destination so she may finish whatever she was working on.

After a 30 minuet drive, we reach our destination. It’s a bakery that she works at. The book is a book of her recipes that she needs during her vacation so she can revise it. She tells me to come in and wait inside while she finds the book. And I agree. I take a seat among the patrons of the restaurant. Alone.

Now, I know the truth of the matter. The truth is that she will do more that just pick up the book. She will socialize. And who could get upset about that? It’s expected of any normal person who walks about the world. And I’m sure she will end up  talking to her boss, just because, when you’ve been out of work for so long, you tend to be more friendly toward your boss. Plus, since she’s so ingrained into the work of that bakery, she will probably check on things to make sure items aren’t being made incorrectly. And that’s fair as well.

But things took an unexpected turn.

I fell asleep three times. Listened to a elderly woman speak talk about every injury she has ever had (in grizzly detail). Watched 3 men hit on the same employee of the bakery. Was asked by other employees if I “was alright?” twice. Saw nearly 100 people enter and exit the store. And watched a very hyper child demand a cookie.

This all took place during the hour and a half that I waited in that bakery.

That’s right.

I waited an hour and a half.

That’s 90 minuets.

5,400 seconds.

Until she returned.

That I will never get back.

I didn’t have anything to pass the time. And why would I? I didn’t know I would be there for that long. Why wouldn’t I just leave? Because I would have to of come back to bring her back home anyway. Why didn’t I ask her to hurry up? Because I’m a polite person, that allows people to have their boundaries. I’m very unobtrusive in other words.

Because, when I agree to do something for somebody, I do it, and I don’t complain while I’m doing it.

I let people feel free.

(I feel this is a good quality for a person to have)

Then I drive the 30 minuets back home. (A very unpleasant drive, mind you). With the injured step mother in tow. (No, I didn’t tow her, she rode in the passenger seat). Who doesn’t know how to apologize.

Just a simple, “Hey, I’m sorry that took so long.” Or maybe a “Wow, time really got away from me. Sorry about that.” Hey, I’d even take a “My bad.”

N-O-T-H-I-N-G

So some more math now:

30 (first drive) + 90 (wait) + 30 (second drive) = 150 or 2 hours and 30 minuets of my life…

that I will never get back.

Could I have been doing something productive? Yes

Could I have been doing something unproductive? More than likely.

It doesn’t matter. My time is my time. Please don’t waste it. Especially if I’m trying to help you out.

If my time is going to be wasted, I at least want to be the one who wastes it.

I’m a grown man. And I have a great grip on my temper. I do nice things for people. I don’t mind waiting for things to happen. I don’t mind if you don’t rush. I don’t even mind if I have to do something relatively uncomfortable for you.

But I will not be doing things for people who don’t seem to think my time is as important as theirs.

 

Later in the day, I got Chineese food.

Why?

Because I love Chinese food.

I got a fortune cookie that said:

“Cooking is easy. Good taste is hard. That’s why you call take out.”

?

I still don’t get it.

 

Both of these stories don’t really fit together. So I decided to put them together anyway, because, sometimes life does that to you.

Was I mad when I wrote the first half of this post? Yeah. I can still feel the aggravation inside me. But it’ll go away. You know why? Because I can move on from things. If I focused on all the annoyances in my life, I’d not have much time having fun. Fun like finding a fortune cookie that just doesn’t quite click in my mind.

Do you get the fortune?

 

Hope your day went better than mine,

D.A.

 

So, I got a call today for another interview. So that means you get the animated delight presented before you.

Also, I should mention that this is the last of the original five comics that I wrote in my sleep-deprived state nearly 3 weeks ago. So enjoy the nonsense as best as you can.  (I personally find it my best so far)

Begin: When the Music Plays

What are you doing?

Eating a sandwich.

(Music plays)

OoOoOoOoO. Do you feel the tension building?

Do you hear that music?

Get ready for the kick, you're in a dream...

INCEPTION

 

Wow. Things got out of hand back there. You alright? You need a Capri-Sun?

Anyway, there you have it. The last of the original five. Maybe one day I’ll make some more. Maybe one day they’ll be funny. Maybe one day I’ll learn to draw. Maybe I’ll just stick to writing…

Goodnight,

D.A.