Words To Live By

March 6, 2012

Here are a few words I have always found to be helpful in my life. These are based on years of experience and knowledge. I would dare say they are wise words.

1. You always feel better after you clean it up.

This could apply to almost any messy situation. Cluttered desk at work? Tidy up. You’ll feel so much more organized and productive afterwards. Have you said something to offend somebody? Talk to them and figure out what you can do to make it up to them. Or just simply ask for forgiveness. This usually makes you feel like a better person. Found an old half-eaten sandwich under your bed? Pitch it and scrub down the infected area. You’ll most certainly feel better knowing that there is no longer a cesspool of evil hiding under your bed.

2. Treat all free things in life like they’re a invincibility star in Super Mario. 

Honestly. If you get something for free, use it to it’s fullest extent. Don’t let those things pass you by. Don’t let them serve no purpose. They are gifts. Treat them as such. There is nothing worse than getting a invincibility star and you just stand there, only to be killed as soon as it runs out. Make it all worth your time.

3. Never drink and entire 6 pack of Yoohoo.

The consequences are…dire. I don’t think I need to go into much more detail about this. But let me just say, I haven’t made this mistake again since the last time when I was 4 years old.

4. Always keep a bottle of Pepto-Bismol around.

For those dire situations…

5. Despite what people say, life does have a rewind button.

Just sometimes that button is broken. So you have to pull out the tape and and rewind it by hand. Maybe you even have to use a pencil eraser.

6. If somebody asks you a question, your default answer should always be “gravy” or “shoop”.

Why? Because you catch them off guard. Then you can bombard them with total nonsense and maybe they’ll leave you alone. Maybe you can cut right back into casual conversation and they will fee like they’re going crazy. As soon as you catch them off balance you can mentally trip them up…or ever physically, if you’re that mean.

D.A.

 

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One Response to “Words To Live By”

  1. Frank Bishop Says:

    Always smile and say hello to people.

    …. and don’t be a fool, wrap your tool.


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