No I Didn’t

April 22, 2013

Anything you read here was a lie.

That sentence works both ways if you think about it too much. (Like I’m about to do for you.)

The word “read” could be written in the present tense. That means anything that you may read from this point forward on this blog is a falsification. An untruth. A deliberate misleading of what is correct.

The word “read” could also be written in the past tense. That means anything you have read on this site previously (but not necessarily currently) is an intentionally misguiding detail. An dishonorable utterance of the written kind. 

Late Edit: I think the original sentence uses the word “was” which may conjure up the idea that the word “read” must be read in the past tense (like that one right there). If I had substituted that word in question for “is” then maybe it would suggest the phrase is written in the present tense. Quite frankly, I haven’t taken an English class in some time, so if you have a recommendation on how to correct my ignorance, I would gladly accept your feedback. (But for now lets just pretend that I just said something witty and funny. Please return back to your table to your friends who don’t know me all that well and tell them that I’m just the best person you’ve met tonight and they should come my way. )


(Also, I should mention you’re buying into my fantasy that we’re at a fancy dinner party right now and you’ve come over to talk to me about my stunning top hat and monocle. You’re even pretending to be impressed with me.)

But in all honesty (which may or may not be real honesty based on our previous information) I haven’t blogged in a long time. It’s really felt like I’ve traveled through time in the ***four*** short months. It’s just happened so fast. 

Too fast.

So I’ve decided I need to start this thing back up again because it allows me to get some of that self reflection I really need. Also, it might give me the kick in the pants to help me reestablish my fingers into the metaphorical dirt that makes up this garden of life. Makes me feel like I’ve got things to contribute to this world.

See you shortly. (But that could mean 3 and a half weeks for all I know)


Dig it?

Sorry…these little jokes aren’t coming as easy to me as I had hoped.


:::Takes a Captain Morgan-esque stance:::




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