Bad Joke for You

March 10, 2012

So there are two cows standing in a field.

One of them turns to the other and says, “Hey, have you heard about this Mad Cow Disease? It’s pretty bad stuff. What do you think?”

The other cow just looks back at him with indignant eyes.

“What would I care? I’m a helicopter.”

 

You’re welcome,

D.A.

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I’m Proud of My Student

November 10, 2011

What you will see is what one of my students turned in to me today. She has not been doing too well in my class and decided that she needed to do some sort of extra credit so she could help her scores.

For my class, if you want a good amount of extra credit, you will have to write me a paper. It’s got to be a minimum of 500 words and it has to be on a topic that both me and the student agree on. That makes sure I know to expect a paper on a particular subject and that student knows more of the details on what they are going to write about.

As long as this is done correctly I am willing to give them up to 50 extra credit points toward their final grade. That’s the equivilant of making up a homework assignment. All in all, that’s a pretty awesome deal.

So, today, this student walks into my class with a paper in hand.

“Mr. Bancroft, I wrote the paper you told me to write.” said one of my afternoon kids.

“We never agreed on a topic.” I laughed. “So what is this paper on?”

“The stuff we just learned about. You said I could write a paper on that.” she said.

“I did? I don’t remember this. Okay, that’s fine. I guess I will read this today after school.” I said as I walked back to my desk.

“Oh,” she blurted out as she was walking away. “And before you ask me, no, I didn’t plagiarize anything. Everybody who read this keeps telling me it’s cheating. And I’m not cheating.”

I was a little stumped.

“I never accused you of cheating, but okay, I’ll take your word on it.”

This last statement I made is teacher-speak for “Yeah, I totally suspect you of cheating. Now I will go over this with a fine-toothed comb.”

And I did.

The pink writing (my own) says this: “I have highlighted all the sentences that are from the textbook. This is called plagerism. It will not be accepted.”

 

 

There you go. You don’t get to see the two other pages and why would you want to? It’s just more highlighter and scribbles.

All the highlighted sentences are exactly the same as the textbook. Funny enough, I found it under the chapter section titled “Reproductive Anatomy.” How original, eh? I even pointed out the specific paragraphs and sentences in some places.

As I kept reading I couldn’t control my laughter. Overall, of the three pages of text she typed, five sentences might be original. (And this is my very generous estimation. The paper is mostly bright orange and yellow/green.

I’m not sure how this student thought this would be a good idea. Who thinks this can be done and I wouldn’t notice?

This really made my weekend.

D.A.

Like I said. I’m so proud of my students.

A 5-min Comic

June 18, 2011

So, I made this reeeaaaalllly awesome comic today. You’ll see it and think it’s hilarious. I might even get picked up by a newspaper. You’ll see it in your local Sunday funnies. Really this is incredible. I sometimes surprise myself.

Actually, that’s a lie. Let me start over.

So, I made some reaaaaallly awful comics today. You will see what I do when I am bored at 1 in the morning. These are outstandingly beautiful in terms of sad and uneventful appointment…

And I’m not fishing for compliments here. This is really bad, but you might as well see it. If not just to see some pictures.

This one is entitled “It’s your problem now.” I will give you subtitles as well.

"Hey"......."Hey"

"What?"..........."You're really fat"

Oh boy, I know you’re enjoying this…

"That's not my problem.".................."How so?"

"Observe."............"What the...hey..st-"

(Oh, what a twist…)

"Omnomnomnomnomnomnomnom."

"Yum."

Fin.

In completely unrelated news: I have a job interview on Monday. As you can tell, I’m putting a lot of work into preparing for that…

D.A.