Not Sure What To Write

November 2, 2011

So I’m just going to throw out whatever I think I should.

Yeah, it’s been a while…blah, blah, blah… you know the routine.

So what have I been doing?

Working. Lots and lots of working. And it’s not easy. But hey! This is the thing I’ve wanted to do for years, I’m just trying to see where things will take me. But enough about that.

Here’s some things I’ve really wanted to talk about with people but most everybody I meet doesn’t want to talk about it or they just don’t care.

1. I’m really excited about The Dark Knight Rises. It’s going to be so big and so awesome it’s going to create an epidemic of nerdism around the world.

Why am I so excited?

It’s the end. The final installment of what is easily the BEST hero film franchise ever made. Don’t even bother arguing against it being the best, because it is. Period.

How it all wraps up means so much. That is because this film is in the possession of Mr. Christopher Nolan. It’s being written by David S. Goyer and Christopher and Jonathan Nolan. These three men know how to spin a yarn. And this yarn ball is sure to be the greatest in size they have ever spun. And that’s because there is quite a wide array of options they could choose to end this trilogy. 

The ending scenes are being shot (rumor) with only key people knowing the plot and actual details of the scenes. It’s a big secret. And that’s just driving me crazy. Not knowing isn’t the thing that bothers me, it the part that it’s so important that it HAS to be kept a secret really gets me interested.

And I could probably write 3 posts on just my different predictions of what will actually happen (which I may decide to do this later…) but then again….I don’t want this to become me just ranting about TDKR.

2. This whole thing about Arrested Development getting a mini-series run as well as a movie makes me really happy.

This is one of the funnier shows I’ve ever watched and I’m happy to see it’s finally getting the recognition it deserves. It won so many Emmy awards right before it was cancelled that it doesn’t quite make sense. Then again, maybe it does make sense because FOX has been responsible for cancelling some popular and funny shows only to have to bring them back before they see a real uproar about their poor decision making skills.

3. I just remembered the movie/NES video game Little Nemo: The Dream Master.

As I was writing this I watched the entire speed run of the game.

Loved every second.

4. National Novel Writing Month.

Yeah, I’m totally not doing this.

I know, I’m a lame-o/sourpuss/crumb-bum/loser/wimp/whiner/slacker/weakling, but I’m a very busy man. I do things. Like… work. And… sleep. (Which is practically a hobby now-a-days). That’s all I pretty much do.

Now I know why they call this first year of teaching the “survival year”. Because I’m literally trying to stay alive.

I’m just not committed enough. Therefore, I just I’m not that much of a writer…But trust me. I really would like to participate but I just don’t want to participate.

You catch my drift there?

No worries, it’s not like I planned on doing this for a living. This is still my hobby and my goal is to write a novel. And, my personal goal is to have that novel “done” in about a year. So… still on track with that.

5. Speaking of novels. I think I have in mind what I’m going to write the novel about. Unfortunately it’s going to be very complicated and will require a lot of research. Mostly about foreign trade agreements and neutrinos.

It may also involve … MURDER. (DA-DA-DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA)

Yes, it’s going to be sci-fi. But it’s probably going to be a little bit more of a “hard sci-fi” book than I ever thought I was capable of writing. Or maybe it is going to be more book that I’m capable of writing…

Self reminder, I need to get better at writing first.

Well, still, that’s not going to stop me from trying.

Anyway, the idea is still in it’s infancy but it promises to be (hopefully) unique in how it’s done.

I may even give it a shot on trying to make part of it into a short story, and then work on it from there.

I dunno. We’ll see, won’t we?

 

And there it is. My little update/random writing moment.

I’m going to try and update more often to make sure the three of you who are probably reading this will still think I’m alive.

D.A.

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Gee Willikers

October 13, 2011

It’s been another rough week.

At least I haven’t taken any cell phones from students this week… (he says before Friday)

I know you ravenous followers of this blog have been wondering, “What did D.A. do this weekend that was so cool that he couldn’t come and chat with us?”

I’d rather just show you.

 

That grainy photo is a photo of my bedroom wall and what hangs from it in peaceful splendor.

What do you mean you don’t know what it is?

I’ll tell you what it is! It’s actual, glorious, magnificent, lovely, genuine, bona fide, autographed memorabilia. Autographed from a Mr. Frank Miller.

Yeah, THAT Frank Miller.

A true legend. And I have a poster that has been signed by his hand. The same hand that wrote The Dark Knight Returns and Batman: Year One. The creator of the 300 comic and film. The man behind Sin City, Ronin, and reviving Daredevil from the ashes. The man known for his hard scowl and his preference of fedora hat choices. 

And gee willikers does it look fancy. A fanboy’s dream come true. And it’s alllllll mine!

How much would you say something this incredible is worth?

$200? $300? $1000?!?!

$10.50 plus tax.

Yes, it’s real. Yes, it’s pretty cool. But it’s not all that awesome when you think about it. Allow me to ‘splain.

The poster was free. I got it from one of my awesome cousins who managed to attend Comic-Con San Diego this year. She was smart enough to have him sign a few posters as well as put them safely in her room while she attended other festivities. She talked to me and said, “Hey, you like comics, you will probably like this.” And she was right, I did.

Since this was my first autographed piece of … something… I then decided I should try my hand at making it presentable as well as preserved for any future plans.

So I bought a big frame from Ikea and a sheet of red poster board.

Voila! Magic.

The poster board is the exact same red that is used in the poster. The black frame is just classy enough to look stylish as well as collective. It’s well done if I do say so myself.

Is the poster/signature worth anything? No, not really. It’s a poster of Mr. Miller’s most recent release called Holy Terror. He was signed a butt-ton of them at every event he’s attended for the past year.

The comic the poster is for? It’s gotten some pretty bad reviews because it’s designed to offend almost everybody with a conscious that reads it. I don’t plan on reading/owning this graphic novel, but it’s history is just strange enough to be of some mild interest to some die hard Miller fan. Apparently this was supposed to be called “Holy Terror, Batman!” and it was to feature the Caped Crusader battling Al-Qaeda. Turns out it was too bloody and too heartless to be a Batman comic, so Miller dropped the idea and gave it to a whole new character named “The Fixer”.

Now that you’ve had your fill of useless comic book knowledge allow me to also declare that I have made myself very proud in my ability to dress things up more than they are worth. I think this poster looks like it belongs in some office with black leather furniture and a big sexy desk. (I don’t know why I used the word sexy right now, but it seemed to fit.) It should also feature a life sized replica of an Imperial Guard in the corner.

So, there it is. The reason I couldn’t get to all of you this weekend was due to my shopping experiences and construction of this project. (And yes, it did take some time trying to center and mount this silly thing.)

Now, as for why I haven’t posted during the week… well that’s another issue entirely.

I never got around to dumping a whole lot of posts on here and then setting them up to post throughout the week. That would have been really smart of me. But, that’s soooo much work. And I already work a lot during the day. So…. yeah.

Anyway. I hope your time perusing around here was enjoyed.

D.A.

 

 

 

Who doesn’t love interesting characters in stories? Characters are the whole point of every story. Even if the story is about a whale that saved his sea shell money to buy a dolphin a new golf club for his birthday, the story is still about the whale.

Atticus Finch. Forrest Gump. Luke Skywalker. All great characters.

Interesting characters make us relate to the stories and make us interested to find out what happens next.

For me, the best place to find great characters is in comic books. (Or trade paperbacks/graphic novels, whatever you poison)

Now, I read many different kinds of comics. You can find a much more comprehensive list of what those are in my about page, but right now I would like to talk about the “Super Hero” genre.

I’ve dabbled in reading comics among the big two publishers, Marvel and DC. And I’m a much bigger fan of DC. I think the big difference between the two is this:

Quality vs. Quantity.

Marvel has some really popular (and fairly interesting) characters, but mostly they have just made so many different characters (mostly mutants) that they haven’t really had the chance to invest in characters the way I would hope they would. DC, while still having many characters, manages to add real depth and feeling to them as well. DC also does a great job in taking a more mature approach to the whole comic book thing in general.

They also have something else going for them as well…

Batman.

When I was three years old the Tim Burton film Batman came out and I decided that I knew what my career was going to be. I was going to be the Masked Vigilante. I knew how to recite many lines, even though I had no idea what they meant. I wore a costume. I begged my parents for a Batmobile Powerwheel (which I never got). The tree in my front yard became my Batcave and at 7 a.m. I would rush outside, in full Bats regalia, and protect the world from certain doom.

I. Was. Batman.

Flash forward nearly twenty years and I still wish I was Batman.

Why?

Back then I wanted to be the Dark Knight because I just thought it was cool. He was a good guy beating up bad guys. That’s what good guys are supposed to do. But today I love him because he’s SUCH a good character.

There is something to Bruce Wayne/Batman that is unlike any other super hero.

He’s NOT a super hero.

Batman is not super strong. He has not been bestowed with any abilities that allow him to do anything unnatural. He doesn’t run super fast. He can’t regenerate. He’s not the world’s smartest man. Does not have super speed. Can’t mutate into some other form. Will never be able to talk to animals. He’s not capable of growing a beard that can stop bullets. And he’s certainly not immune to lava.

He’s flawed.

He is obsessed with trying to avenge the deaths of his parents. He works tirelessly until exhaustion. He uses the money from his parent’s estate and business to allow him to continue his one man war. He has a secret identity. He neglects making meaningful relationships in order to work toward his goal. He goes to sleep many nights wondering if it’s all worth it. He ponders if his job will ever be complete.

Despite this, he was invited to join the Justice League. And he still hangs with real “superheroes”. And many even fear him.

He seems to overcome adversity on a regular basis as well. Even one of his many enemies, named Bane, broke the Bat’s back in a well renowned issue. And even after being overwhelmed and broken, he recovered and kept up the good fight.

But, as Bruce Wayne, he keeps it all hidden. To everybody else he’s just a rich dude doing his thing. Being rich. Making money. Living the life.

But it’s all just a facade. His real identify is behind a mask. He real love is his work. And he wouldn’t change that for the world.

Despite all his faults. His mistakes. His pain. His weaknesses. His regrets. His obsessions. His conflicts.

He still tries to do the right thing. He wants justice. He hopes.

He’s a lot like all of us.

We’re all flawed. We all have our secrets. Every day each one of us has to get out of bed and fight our battles. Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose. Sometimes we feel like our back is broken and there is nothing left. But we keep at it. We persist. We strive for better. We try to not fear what’s around us. We fight.

 

Now, let’s look at another DC character that I’m not really a fan of.

Superman.

He’s faster than a speeding bullet. Can fly.  Has X-ray vision. Has super hearing and likely super smell. Can travel in space at will. Can pick up just about anything and spin it on the tip of his finger. He can’t get sick. He can’t get hurt. He can’t die. And he only has one weakness.

Even as Clark Kent he’s too good. He always manages to be polite. Does what’s asked of him. Doesn’t force his way into conversation. Kept a cordial relationship with Lois Lane for forever and a day. Even manages to show up to work everyday, shaved, showered, and peppy, to help with the paper.

Even if these are really great qualities for a person to have, it’s still inhuman. We all can’t do this all the time. We all slip up, but not him.

It helps to portray him as too impersonal. Not real.

He’s basically a god on earth.

I am no god, and can’t really relate to one. (This is also one of my issues with Thor).

Now, as a hero, who would I want to sweep in and save the day?

Come on, of course it’s Superman. I’d have him on speed dial. He’d probably get the job done lickety-split. Batman would take time, not to mention, isn’t even guaranteed to show up. And I’d probably have to wait until nighttime and when his third shift begins.

But who is a better character?

Mr. Bats wins it. Clearly.

Yes, yes. I know my scope of both of these characters is quite narrow. And I’m not considering all the different things that have happened in the DC Universe as a whole. I’ll admit, I’m not too familiar with it. I’m just speaking in basic terms here.

I should also note that there are a few different versions of Batman (and Superman). Frank Miller in particular was known for putting a very gritty (and non-cannon) spin on the Man in the Cowl. Batman was mean, driven, ruthless, even vicious in his pursuit of vengeance. He was even old in some cases.

He perfectly fit the mold of an anti-hero. And still, at the heart of the matter was his desire to do good, despite all those shortcomings.

Now I’m not going to blather on about who would win in a fight for too long, but…

Batman has “defeated” Superman before but he needed help and he really didn’t kill Superman. So how can I really say “defeated”? And we all know that Superman, in the blink of an eye, could rip Batman apart like a train hitting a cow. But he hasn’t. Probably because he’s too good to do something like that. And Batman probably didn’t kill Superman because he knew that the world would be much less safe without Superman flying around.

Since I don’t want this post to blather on more than it already has, let me just make a few more than a few bullets about different reasons why I like Batman more than any other “super hero”.

  • He wears all black
  • He works in the shadow
  • He’s about as tough as a normal human can get
  • He’s surprisingly business savvy
  • His movies are the best comic adapted movies. (I’d watch Batman Forever way before I’d watch Superman Returns)
  • Sometimes has stubble for facial hair.
  • Different interpretations have him at different ages.
  • Has had some pretty cool sidekicks/allies
  • He has THE BEST VILLAINS in all of comics. (This is really really really really important, but deserves it’s own post)
  • Talks differently while he’s in his suit.
  • If the world found out who he really was, it would all come crashing down, unlike other heroes.
  • Vigilante is such a cool word.
  • Is not only hunted by bad guys but is also hunted by the police.
  • Doesn’t kill people. (Even though I’m sure there are exceptions to this rule)
  • Fights crazy good.
  • Can exit a room/scene without anybody noticing.

So there it is. 

I hope this helps explain a little bit of the childishness inside me. I also hope it sparks even more entertaining and fun to read comments like my last post did. But I’m sure you’re all tired of that subject now…

The Bruce Wayne of the the blogosphere,

D.A.

Forward I Say!

August 7, 2011

The whole purpose of this entire little blog is for me to have an avenue to allow me to write.

A plan was put forth that call for me to implement, esentially, two steps. The first is creating a blog that allows me to write and get feedback on. And after I do this for some time I’m sure that I will end up a little more skilled in the words department. Secondly, the plan is to write a book. Bookforme is the name of the blog after all, and my ultimate goal is to do just that, write a book for me.

Or myself. (I still need help in the words department as you can tell).

Well…I think I may have just begun/talked my way into writing a book. Again. Sort of.

(This is a long story, that will be shortened, and certain areas will be emphasized for dramatic effect. Oh, and there’s spoilers.)

Just like any story begins, two years ago me and a couple friends we sitting around just chatting.  And we got to talking about authors and stories that we love. Then it popped up that some of us had tried writing before and some of us even had a file full of ideas for books. (No, I was not one of them). Then a few things were said and we all decided that we should write a book together.

That’s right, I said friends. As in plural. Three of us.

We got together and went through that folder full of ideas and found one we all felt could turn into a really fun story. We even planned out a lot of characters and plot points and actually attempted to write some stuff down. As it turns out, the two of them are lazy bums. (It should be noted that I am also a lazy bum but of a different caliber than these other fellows). And we only really got a ton of ideas down, but very little writing actually completed.

I was totally for it though. I had never done any writing up to that point. After I attempted my first real writing session, I ended up walking away feeling quite wonderful. I even put a lot of effort into doing that. I mean, I worked really hard over 2500 words when the other guys were barely putting out 500. I felt like I could totally do this. And that was the moment I thought to myself, “I want to write a book before I die.” The seed was planted.

But then us bums were bums, and nothing came of it.

School. Internships. People in and out of my life. Family. More school. Laziness…

Still, that seed wanted to grow.

The decision was made that blogging would become the water for that seed.

And I’ve been watering it pretty consistently for the better part of three months or so. I knew that I wanted to write but wanted feedback to help me learn. And that’s what I did. This blog has really become a part of my life. I really do live on the internet in a way because of this pixelated hole-in-the-wall. I have the freedom to come up with stories and explain life events in a way that is totally unique to me. And I like that.

Here is where the conflict of the story shows up.

I’ve never told anybody about any of it.

Even my “Two Step Plan to Totally Own Some Book Writing Skillz” is a secret. The existence of this blog is a secret. My passion for wanting to write is a secret. Heck, just my writing itself, is a secret.

I never let anybody read my writing other than those two fellows mentioned earlier. And they only read the stuff that I knew they had to read because it was supposed to be in the book that we were making together. I still worked on other things that have been hidden away for nobody to see.

Why then would I decide to start publishing little stories on the internet for all to read? (It’s actually more like maybe a dozen people).

Because I think it would help me get past the fear of letting people see my creativity and judging me for it. Yes. Because I could get feedback in a personable way that would encourage me to keep writing. Yes. To make me think about the audience I was writing for. Yes. To just feel free. Yes. People won’t have any preconceptions about what THAT GUY is writing. Yes.

Still, to this day, my friends, family, and coworkers do not know of my blogging double life. And I don’t plan on letting that change.

How do I keep my secret from those closest to me?

:::Spoiler Alert:::

My name is not really D.A. Bancroft.

GASP!

I know. A real surprise. It’s a pen name. It’s a pseudonym. The proverbial cat is out of the proverbial bag.

(Wait…what do you mean you already suspected/knew this?)

This was the best way to make sure my secret passion was never revealed. Yes, i’m sure somebody could find out if I have an internet presence if they really searched hard enough. And yes, I know people on the internet could probably find out who I really am. But that’s kind of the fun behind it I guess. They could know…but they don’t. How long can I keep this going?

Now, I take you to only a few days ago…

After a while of being lazy bums, those two fellows have decided to “reignite” the whole writing subject.

Here are a few points, both positive and negative, that are placed before me.

* I already have writing commitments on this here blog. I mean, yes, I could just post my progress on this book as my writing for this blog (and it may come to that), but I still want to write much more original material before I really write anything very big.

* I do still want this blog to remain “secret” and will think that me publishing any “group book” work on here would dangerous. There will be words and thoughts involved in this story that will be veeerrry unique. And if any of those showed up on this website, I’m sure that a simple google search would pull off the covers, so to speak.

* I am now a full time employee, and my students will come first before any writing. So I may not have a lot of time to devote to that whole story over there. I will still place my blog before any shaking book idea.

* How do you write a book with more than one author? I know it can be done. I’ve even read some books that were quite good despite them having multiple authors. And these guys are my friends. We know each other. We know what makes each other tick/laugh/cry/sneeze, so i’m guessing we can agree on the direction a story takes. .

* This multi-authorship will also mean that this book is not going to be my complete vision for something as grand as we are planning. It will be full of compromises and shortcomings. It will be our vision. I still want to write a book that is all mine. MY universe. MY decisions. (Call me selfish)

* This project has stalled out before and it could likely stall out again. Now, I don’t plan on being the one to cause no progress to occur, but I fully expect very  little contribution from the other authors unless they light a fire under their butts and get to work. So all this concern may be over nothing.

Still, things will continue here unabated. I think. Progress will go forward.

So there it is. You have my origin story. My big secret. And my dilemma. All in one post at that!

This kind of makes me feel like a super hero…

I am – the batman…

The not really, but still going to use it,

D.A.

Moving Ahead

July 10, 2011

Thunk.

Julian’s bloodshot eyes suddenly opened. He turned to see that his alarm clock read 6:32 a.m., much too early to start a day. He lay half-naked in his bed clinging to his childhood Batman blanket. Sleep was still in his eyes and the sun was just barely peaking through his broken blinds.

Three hours of sleep wasn’t going to be enough to get through today.

Julian Sanders wondered what had woken him. Did he hear something? He threw off the old tatter of a blanket sat upright in bed. After some hard blinking and rubbing of his eyes, he turned and placed his feet on the bare wooden floor. He kept his breathing shallow as he tried to listen for another sound.

After some time of waiting, and nothing happening, he assumed it was safe.  Julian contemplated not getting out of bed. Maybe he could lay back down a get another few hours of rest.

Thunk.

The sound seemed to come from his living room.

Did somebody break in?

He didn’t have anything of value, except maybe his pitiful DVD collection. And what kind of burgler would work at six in the morning?

“Nah,” thought Julian. “Nobody in their right mind would be up this early.”

Maybe it was his neighbors in the apartment above had dropped something on the floor. Julian contemplated going up there and complaining. It wouldn’t be the first time.

Now he heard muffled voices. But these were definitely coming from his living room.

Julian’s mind raced and he had to stop himself from panicking.

Somebody was out there.

He knew he had to see what was going on, he had to do something. Julian glided his way toward his closet. He didn’t think to reach for pants, or a phone, but instead grabbed his Louisville Slugger.

“I’m not going out there with nothing.” he thought to himself. The plan that formed in his mind involved a lot of bravado and yelling. While he may not be a very loud and aggressive man he expected the bat would do most of the work for him.

“Okay, Julian, just stay cool. Just walk out there and get ready for anything that comes at you. Remember, you’re the boss.” Julian’s conscious spoke to him. “These punks probably don’t even expect me to be home. So, I’ll just go out there and demand they leave. They’ll be out of here in a split second.”

He took a few deep breaths and convinced himself that he was brave. Julian kicked open his bedroom door and stepped out to confront whoever was out there.

He expected to see one or two guys wearing black ski masks and carrying crowbars. Maybe they would be carrying sacks with all of his things stuffed inside. They were probably tip-toeing around as well.

Instead, he opened the door and saw two rather normal looking men in uniforms. There were a lot of open cardboard boxes scattered around the room, some of which contained his possessions.

There was also a large opening in his wall that emanated a green glow of light. These men did not seemed alarmed by the unnatural object whatsoever nor the half naked man facing them armed only with a baseball bat.

The men in the yellow and blue one piece work-suits continued onward, moving boxes to the middle of his living room, and carrying on normal conversation.  

Who- who do you think you are?” Julian managed to squawk out. He had wished his words sounded more menacing.

The men finally took notice of him.

“Oh. Hi there.” said one man casually. “Did you not get the notice? We were told you had gotten notified of your departure.” said the man with blonde hair that was holding Julian’s table lamp. His voice was bright and cheery.

This was discomforting for Julian this early in the morning.

“What notice?” cracked Julian’s voice.

“I guess not.” replied a mustached moving man now walking in through the portal. The bill of his yellow hat was bent in the middle, causing it to look like a cartoon duck bill. He grabbed a box and walked back into the doorway, leaving Julian behind, dumbstruck.

“Did he just walk through my wall?” Julian said. His eyes were locked on the green passageway.

“Yeah, now I know you didn’t read the letter of notice.” said the friendly looking blonde. “You’re moving. Today. And you’re also coming with us.”

“Did that guy just – walk – through -my wall?” Julian repeated with obvious discomfort.

“Yeah, if you would have read the notice you wouldn’t be so concerned right now.” said the kindly man.

After a few seconds of incomprehension Julian allowed a small dribble of drool fall out of his mouth. He had just seen a man walk in and out through a solid wall. It might have been very early for Julian, but he knew that something wasn’t quite right.

Taking notice of Julian’s confusion the blonde man set down the lamp and slowly approached with open hands.

“Okay bud, just take a seat.” He guided Julian by the shoulders to sit on a box full of his unimpressive DVD collection. “Don’t flip a lid. Breathe. Just. Breathe.” The man’s voice was soothing. “Here, drink some water.” he handed him a nearby bottle of water.

Julian wiped the drool from his face with the back of his hand and began to drink. His eyes were still locked on the odd opening in the wall.

The moving man extended a hand. “Hi, I’m Frank. That’s Grant. We work for a moving company – of sorts.”

“I- I don’t understand.” said Julian. His eyes finally broke away from the portal and met those of Frank’s.

“Of sorts?” Julian asked. ” There’s a hole in my wall. I don’t know many moving men that put glowing holes in your house.”

“Oh, no, that’s not a hole per se. That’s what we in the business like to call a ‘Dimential Rift Membrane.’ Most other folks just call it a ‘rift’ for short.”

Grant walked back into the room and tried to explain what he could. “We work for a company that relocates those who have been displaced by the Korring Effect. That’s when people from one dimension end up in another by accident. Our records show that you were moved here, and we’re here to bring you back.”

This guy wasn’t making any sense. Julian thought of the possible explanations of his current state of mind. Maybe he was hallucinating. After all, he did order take out from a very questionable restaurant last night. Perhaps he was still sleeping and a gas leak is causing him to have a trippy dream. Still, everything felt so uncomfortable it had to be real.

After a few awkward seconds Grant spoke again.

“Hey buddy, can you get up? I need to take that box next.”

Julian decided now was as good of a time as any to stand up and fight these guys. He was determined that he wasn’t just going to get robbed, or moved, or evicted without a fight.

“Get  away from my stuff!” he leap up from his box and held his bat in a swinging position. “I’ll hit you so hard your mustache will fly back to where it came from.” Julian didn’t think too hard about his insult, but he figured that if he said it loud enough, they would stop what they were doing.

“Mr. Sanders, just stay calm. We will explain everything but you just need to calm down.” said Frank.

“How about I don’t calm down and you explain everything, or I make that hat become part of your skull.” Now his threat felt a little more convincing.

“You live in a dimension that is not your own. You were moved here when you were young, you just don’t remember. Our company checked your records and decided that it was time you came back to your original dimension. You were slated to move today. It’s not a big deal. It happens all the time.” explained Frank. His voice had a casual tone.

“How can you just “move” me to some other place. I live here. This apartment is my home. I don’t want to crawl through some hole and end up who-knows-where.” he complained. He searched for something else. “Plus, that thing will probably give me cancer or something!”

“No, you don’t understand.” said the man with the mustache. “We move people through, what you might call, ‘wormholes’ to other dimensions. It’s totally safe technology, just this dimension hasn’t discovered it’s wide spread use yet.”

“So, you mean this is like, some Stephen Hawking stuff?” Julian managed.

“We don’t know who that is, but if it makes you calm down, then yes. Yes it is.” said Frank cooly. “Just put down the bat and we’ll get this process started.”

After a few moments, Julian calmed down enough to have a seat. Frank pulled a piece of paper from his pocket.

“This is a copy of the notice you were supposed to have read. Read it and then you’ll have a better idea of what’s going on.” said Frank as he handed the paper to Julian.

It took a few minutes, but Julian read every word.

After another few minutes, Julian stopped crying.

He was placed in the wrong dimension. Something called the Korring Effect causes rips in time and space that mixes things up.

Maybe this is why he always felt alone in this world. Maybe this is why he never found it too easy to live in a world where people lived like this. He always felt out of place.

This could be his opportunity to start over; to fit in.

“Okay, I think I’m ready to – leave – I guess.”

Great!” said Frank. “Come with me. Grant here will take care of the rest of your stuff and I’ll just guide you through.”

“Okay. Just don’t break anything.” said Julian. He dropped his bat and figured Grant would take care of it.

They walked up to the gateway and looked into the green swirl that seemed so sophisticated and terrifying. The neon glow seemed to churn within. There was no sound, nor was there anything to identify inside. It looked like he was going to walk into a dense cloud.

“Now, just walk through. There’s a little step, so don’t fall.”

“Okay…”

Julian took a deep breath, and stepped into the green world that lay beyond.

He was trusting his life to these two men; men he had never met before today. Men with funny yellow hats. Men who were comfortable around the idea of a wormhole.

He wasn’t sure why, but he decided to close his eyes. Maybe it would make the decision less terrifying if he didn’t see what he was getting himself into.

Julian took one step and found nothing for his foot to land on.

He fell.

He decided in that moment to not open his eyes. He would prefer to not see how he died.

Sooner than expected, he hit the ground, face first, in a heap.

When he opened his eyes he saw Frank, heartily laughing, helping him up.

“I said don’t fall.” Frank chuckled.

“Sorry.” Julian squeaked.

“That’s alright. Now you know. Keep your eyes open next time.” Frank opened his arms wide and looked all around him. With a big smile he said. “Welcome to Plane #243 D, Alpha! Your new home.”

After looking around the building he was now inside, his breath was taken away. This was his new home.

Julian acted accordingly.

After another few minuets, he stopped crying and took his first steps as a new resident of Plane #243 D, Alpha; wherever that was.

“Hey, uh, Frank?” asked Julian.

“Yeah?” replied Frank.

“I think I need some pants.”

Ghandi was once quoted for saying, “Action is no less necessary than thought to the instinctive tendencies of the human frame.”

That’s right. Ghandi said “the”. I figured you should see something of value before you read this comic.

Now, prepare your brain cells to be destroyed. For it is COMIC TIIIIMMMMEEEEE! 

:::Imagine some epic reverb going on right now:::

It’s called “Straight to the Moon.”

Why are you so bow-legged?

I'll show you

Now, keep in mind, the man with the question mark above his head is NOT Jim Carrey portraying the Riddler from Batman Forever. (Even though there is a striking resemblance). This man has a question mark above his head because he is so perplexed at the situation.

If you really can’t tell, this fella on the left is inserting a randomly appearing arrow into his legs, which are, obviously, a bow.

Oh

Clearly, the man on the left launched himself into space using some sort of black magic or broken physics. Let’s call it Fhysics, because it’s Fun and Hysterical Physics.

(I know what you’re thinking, “how long did it take for you to draw this man’s hair?”. Well let me just say it took me a very, very, very long time. I lost a little piece of myself in making it. So please, enjoy this one.)

Don’t forget, you can read all my previous comics here.

Another one down,

D.A.