This Place is a Mess

May 1, 2012

Just look around here! There are digital cobwebs in the corners of this page for Pete’s sake. All the pixels are very dusty. There is even a new section of my blog called “even older posts.” It’s a lot like an elephant burial ground. Very morbid. Very sad.

No, don’t look for it. It doesn’t really exist. I’m just pointing out that this place is practically falling apart without me.

So we need to spiff things back up! But a little elbow grease into those dusty areas. Spruce it up a notch or two. Maybe put in a nice potted plant to  balance the room. Feng Shui if you will. How about a bonsai tree?

Now that our chakras are in line, let’s meditate on the vastness of the universe together.

Remember, breath in through the nose and out through the mouth.

:::Deep breath:::

:::Deep cough due to the dusty room:::

So whatever happened to that girl that said she was going to take care of this place anyway? She’s a real slacker.

So…

Hey!

What’s up? How have you been? How’s the wife and kids? Or the cats? Or the nothing?

That sounds much better. “How’s the nothing?”

Oh me? Oh, yeah, things are fine. As always. They’re just dandy…

Since we’re being so personal let’s go ahead and address the elephant in the room. I haven’t posted in a little while because I’m a lazy bum. Don’t feel bad though. I’ve neglected everything else as well. It wasn’t until today and yesterday that I finally caught up in grading homework from about three weeks ago.

Yeah…I’m a bad person.

As for what’s been going on at work:

We’re hitting the part of the year when everything HAS to fall in place. If it doesn’t then we screw everything up. Grades need to be ready soon. Testing starts back up next week. I have to do inventory for the lab supplies. And I’m certain there are going to be meetings out of the Wazoo. (For those of you who don’t know, the Wazoo is a small and secretive hut used by teachers to have very cramped and pointless meetings. It is usually found behind the cafeteria dumpsters.)

As for what’s been going on in writing:

Not a whole lot. These words you see here are actually the first words I’ve written in about a week. (This means if you received any email/messages from me you are either 1) very lucky because I haven’t done much of anything lately or 2) It’s not actually me it’s an evil doppelganger that somehow found out how to log on to my account.)

As for what’s been going on in life:

I have taken up a new hobby. I drink “gourmet sodas” and I am currently in the search for the perfect cream soda. My journey thus far has taken me to some interesting places. I’ll be sure to share some of these awesome sodas with you soon enough.

Oh, you know why you’ll learn about them? Because I’m going to introduce my very first weekly post.

NEW GOAL: (I love making up goals too much). Create and maintain a weekly segment of posts. They shall henceforth fall on Thursday.

It shall also be known as THIRSTY THURSDAY. It will be my weekly review of another silly soda that has gourmet credentials. (I.E. says “gourmet” on the bottle.)

Sound good? Cool.

So that’s Thursdays planned for the next foreseeable future. (Or until I find that perfect cream soda.)

I’m also going to do my best to make sure that I’m trowing up (bleh!) something on here for the next week. That’s right. It’s another goal of 1 post per day for a week. (When it rains, it pours.)

Maybe some of those posts will be meaningful. Maybe some of them will feature kittens (because everybody loves kittens, right?). There’s even a chance that they could feature me ranting about how I almost killed myself at work the other day. I dunno, but the real point is, expect some more activity on my side of the screen very shortly.

We got things to do.

D.A.

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5 Days

April 17, 2012

Wow. Holy smokes. Hot cheetoes and rice.

Five days since my last post. It’s almost like I relapsed. I got a whiff of the laziness and I just fell back into the old habit. It has been so long since any original content on here I think my little red moon has some cobwebs around it. You see that?

I guess it hasn’t all been laziness. A good portion of it can be blamed on the increased workload toward the end of the year. For example:

FCAT.

No, I’m not incorrectly cursing about a cat. It’s the state mandated test that occurs in every school in the state of Florida. This week is offically known as FCAT week.

This means kids take a two hour long test on Monday and Tuesday. Then the school scrambles to make sure that every kid who missed taking it on those days end up taking it on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. If they don’t take the test, they fail the test. If they fail the test, they can’t graduate. Luckily this test is given to the 10th graders. So they got 2 more years to make it up. (That happens the week before FCAT Week).

So, this also means the normal hours of the day change. Kids are shuffled around and classes are shorter. Not to mention, we all know kids who just took the test as tired from taking one of the most important tests of the school year. So your day for teaching new material is pretty much shot.

Then I’m getting kicked out of my room for the Wednesday/Thursday Panic-and-make-sure-everybody-has-been-tested days-so-we’re-going-to-steal-your-classroom-all-day sort of thing. That means tomorrow and Thursday I will be in a room other than my own. That also means 12 kids will probably not remember I told them to go to a different room tomorrow. Which means many kids are going to get tardies (teacherism) for not showing up to class on time.

Since I’m in a different room (with a shorter class period might I add), the kids will be distracted and won’t want to learn.

So it’s an uphill battle all week. A guy can’t win.

Oh, and in three weeks the kids take their End Of Course Exams. This exam determines if they pass the class or not. And yes, it occurs four weeks BEFORE the class offically ends.

So what do we do for those four weeks after the class material has all been taught?

I dunno…ask me in about four weeks.

D.A.