Gee Willikers

October 13, 2011

It’s been another rough week.

At least I haven’t taken any cell phones from students this week… (he says before Friday)

I know you ravenous followers of this blog have been wondering, “What did D.A. do this weekend that was so cool that he couldn’t come and chat with us?”

I’d rather just show you.

 

That grainy photo is a photo of my bedroom wall and what hangs from it in peaceful splendor.

What do you mean you don’t know what it is?

I’ll tell you what it is! It’s actual, glorious, magnificent, lovely, genuine, bona fide, autographed memorabilia. Autographed from a Mr. Frank Miller.

Yeah, THAT Frank Miller.

A true legend. And I have a poster that has been signed by his hand. The same hand that wrote The Dark Knight Returns and Batman: Year One. The creator of the 300 comic and film. The man behind Sin City, Ronin, and reviving Daredevil from the ashes. The man known for his hard scowl and his preference of fedora hat choices. 

And gee willikers does it look fancy. A fanboy’s dream come true. And it’s alllllll mine!

How much would you say something this incredible is worth?

$200? $300? $1000?!?!

$10.50 plus tax.

Yes, it’s real. Yes, it’s pretty cool. But it’s not all that awesome when you think about it. Allow me to ‘splain.

The poster was free. I got it from one of my awesome cousins who managed to attend Comic-Con San Diego this year. She was smart enough to have him sign a few posters as well as put them safely in her room while she attended other festivities. She talked to me and said, “Hey, you like comics, you will probably like this.” And she was right, I did.

Since this was my first autographed piece of … something… I then decided I should try my hand at making it presentable as well as preserved for any future plans.

So I bought a big frame from Ikea and a sheet of red poster board.

Voila! Magic.

The poster board is the exact same red that is used in the poster. The black frame is just classy enough to look stylish as well as collective. It’s well done if I do say so myself.

Is the poster/signature worth anything? No, not really. It’s a poster of Mr. Miller’s most recent release called Holy Terror. He was signed a butt-ton of them at every event he’s attended for the past year.

The comic the poster is for? It’s gotten some pretty bad reviews because it’s designed to offend almost everybody with a conscious that reads it. I don’t plan on reading/owning this graphic novel, but it’s history is just strange enough to be of some mild interest to some die hard Miller fan. Apparently this was supposed to be called “Holy Terror, Batman!” and it was to feature the Caped Crusader battling Al-Qaeda. Turns out it was too bloody and too heartless to be a Batman comic, so Miller dropped the idea and gave it to a whole new character named “The Fixer”.

Now that you’ve had your fill of useless comic book knowledge allow me to also declare that I have made myself very proud in my ability to dress things up more than they are worth. I think this poster looks like it belongs in some office with black leather furniture and a big sexy desk. (I don’t know why I used the word sexy right now, but it seemed to fit.) It should also feature a life sized replica of an Imperial Guard in the corner.

So, there it is. The reason I couldn’t get to all of you this weekend was due to my shopping experiences and construction of this project. (And yes, it did take some time trying to center and mount this silly thing.)

Now, as for why I haven’t posted during the week… well that’s another issue entirely.

I never got around to dumping a whole lot of posts on here and then setting them up to post throughout the week. That would have been really smart of me. But, that’s soooo much work. And I already work a lot during the day. So…. yeah.

Anyway. I hope your time perusing around here was enjoyed.

D.A.

 

 

 

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That’s right kids! It’s free gifts day! Who doesn’t love free gifts?

Maybe that kid you knew when you were little. He was a weird little creeper, wasn’t he? What ever happened to him?

Anyways, to the gifts.

I have decided to give you all an EXCLUSIVE SNEAK PEEK at my short story that is due on the 22nd/23rd (midnight) of May! Remember? It’s called Memorandum RE: Galaxy. Well here it is!

____________

Excerpt of Memorandum RE: Galaxy

D.A. Bancroft

To: Mr. Yurg (or current resident)

From: Grand Kalothian Corporation

Subject: URGENT: Impending attack

Today you will get the opportunity of a galactic cycle!

Us here at the Kalothian Institue for Advancement (a subdivision of the Grand Kalothian Corporation), would like to inform you and your kind of the large amount of fleets building up along our shared boarder. This is NOT a time to panic, but a time to rejoice. Today you can seize the opportunity and become a member of the UNDI division of the Grand Kalothian Corp.

All we ask of you and your brethren is to take part in our survey. That’s it! 

Still confused? We bet you are!

If you would like to know more please continue to the below Q & A section. Detailed instructions will follow after that.

What is the purpose of this survey?

Quite simply, the Kalothian species feeds on knowledge. We need it to grow. And If you haven’t noticed, lately, we’ve been doing a lot of “aggressive expansion” in your quadrant of the galaxy. We have been giving this survey to countless species scattered around you. With the information we obtain, we are able to continue to grow.

O.K. Sounds simple. But how do I take the survey?

We’ve made that easy on you. We have developed a neural device that will give you a constantly updated questionnaire that resides in your frontal lobe (or nearest organ). That’s right, no silly paper work! These questionnaire devices are called MINDRAM’s. This stands for Manually Inserted Neural Devices for Research and Murder.*

*Don’t worry about that murder stuff, our lawyers make us put that in there for legal purposes.

…more later

_________________

WOW! Wasn’t that fun?! I guess you’ll just have to come back for more on May 22nd/23rd to get your fill! I hope you recuperate from you mind being blown. You may need to take a nap.

AND NOW I WILL READ YOUR MIND!

Wait a second…didn’t he say gifts? As in plural? More than one? If I don’t get my second, I’m going postal…

Ha! You caught me. Continue reading…

So if I ever got published I would want this guy to do my cover art. His name is Daniel Dociu. Maybe you’ve heard of him and I’ve been in the dark for a while but you should check this stuff out. Each one of his illustrations could literally inspire me to make countless stories. And I’m sure if he teamed up with somebody other than me, people wouldn’t just look in awe at the cover, but would actually open it up and read the story.

Daniel Dociu / Tinfoil Games

Since me and him don’t actually know each other, I’ve only provided a link to his site rather than copying and pasting his art on my blog. Not to mention it would prevent him from getting awesome traffic for his site. Just trust me on this and visit his site  and you can get entrapped in his beautiful work.

My particular favorite is one of his featured works found HERE. It totally looks like it should be a book cover if it isn’t already.

THAT’S RIGHT, YOUR GIFT IS ART!

Till the next one…

D.A.