Mundy Monday

February 27, 2012

Goal for this week: WRITE A POST FOR EACH DAY OF THE WEEK.

Secondary goal for this week: GIVE ALL THOSE POSTS ALLITERATIVE TITLES.

So I found out something about myself today. I’m like a pickle jar.

Now here comes the very complicated explanation of what that actually means. I’ll also be sure to not directly tell you, but only provide you with a short story and follow that up with me freaking out about the story in a fairly scatterbrained manner. Okay?

Here’s the scene. I’m playing a game on the internet (using my time wisely) and I get a call on the phone from my father. He’s just wanting to ask me a few things on some random topics. He also mentions to me that I have a cousin that has a blog.

I tense as I hear the word. NO I think to myself. THERE CAN’T BE ANOTHER. WHAT IF THEY FIND ME?

“Oh yeah?” I said, acting like I didn’t really understand these foreign words. “That’s nice.” I tried to make sure my voice was level.

“Yeah, it is,” he said. “She writes very well. You should check it out.”

I commented that I would check it out sometime. We said our goodbyes and he went off think everything was all hunky-dory.

As I hung up I immediately typed it in and checked it out.

I hawked down every pixel on that blog. Every. Single. One.

And to be fair, it really was a nice little thing she had made. I hope the best for her. But it’s one of those fancy upgraded WordPress blogs that you pay so much for a domain name and other features.

Oh no…

Not only is she blogging…she’s in my neighborhood. Us Bancrofts seem to have similar taste in our blogging preferences.

Now I feel a little…cooped up.

Why?

Well that’s because I keep this blog a secret from every person I actually know. I don’t want them to know. I don’t even want them to suspect that I may or may not have an online affiliated hobby. I don’t even want them to know I know what a blog is….

This is the point where you start to question my sanity, and rightfully so. A normal person should not feel weird at all right now. Oh, somebody I know has a blog. No biggie. Those are normal thoughts.

But for me this is different. For me this little splotch on the interwebs is my person sanctuary. It’s a relief from the world. It’s a place where I can put my thoughts on electronic paper and file them away. Hey, I might even get some people to comment on those ideas I share.

I can practice writing  and feel safe…

So, in my own messed up way, this is almost an attack on my safe place.

I’m imagining a field of full of colorful wildflowers and a great big oak tree with branches so low you can hop up and sit on them. The summer breeze would ruffle your clothes and weave throughout your bare toes as you relax. life is good.

Now imagine a Transformers battle taking place while you rest. Yeah, that’s what i’m talking about.

So, how am I like a pickle jar? 

Well, this place is still a secret. STILL. Despite everything my ego wants from me.

I kind of secretly want recognition for my kind-of-sort-of-mildly-entertaining-place-of-residence-on-the-internet. I have a fantasy of building this place up into some very popular internet page and some of my friends and family stumble across it and find themselves very amused. Then they read more and more and realize that this D.A. fellow sounds a lot like …

:::gasp:::

Then they immediately phone me and I try to act all casual. “Nah, it’s not me, but i’ve seen that site before.” I say, hoping to blow off their suspicions.  “Yeah, I read some of his books. They’re pretty funny/thoughtful/well written.”

Then they begin a compulsive investigation of myself and how I get my money. Since my blog and susequent writings have become so popular and I’ve been published many times I will no longer need to work, they will start to wonder why I stopped teaching. All I seem to do is sit in my house all day and play video games. (Maybe I’ll claim I made some good investments in some major companies on the stock market.)

Then one day they will provide me with the documented evidence of my workings. They will point the finger at me and say “Your are D.A. Bancroft!” I will lower my head as if in defeat. The game has been lost.

But I still won.

Yes, a big dichotomy. I want recognition. I want invisibility. Kind of reminds me of this guy…

I guess I should explain who this is…

This the The Grand Galactic Inquisitor. He is a giant humanoid that seemingly has a mastery over time and space, but he is also trying to observe things while hoping people just ignore him. Maybe simply can’t do such a thing…so he screams at the top of his voice box “IGNORE ME!”.

Okay, okay. Maybe I’m blowing this whole thing out of perspective a little bit…

I guess if people found out who I am…it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. And I’m sure my family would give about zero and a half craps about what I write on here. My friends my give three fourths of a crap.

My point still stands. This is a place for me. Just me trying to do my thing… whatever that may be.

And I’m not going to apologize for blowing that whole thing up…

Didn’t you want to read something dramatic and entertaining? I’m trying to do that for you. Don’t you kind of wish you could watch my words as I slip into a mental breakdown? That would be outrageously entertaining.

Maybe I would start to really believe I AM D.A. Bancroft. I start becoming… a new person. I speak with more certainty. I use bigger words. I start wearing a sweater all the time. Creepy stuff.

I mean…that would be entertaining… right?

But for now…I’ll just keep the lid on this whole thing. Just like that pickle jar.

D.A.

P.S. Just realized that jars of jelly are much more difficult to open. So…reread this entire thing, but substitute the word pickle with jelly.

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Forward I Say!

August 7, 2011

The whole purpose of this entire little blog is for me to have an avenue to allow me to write.

A plan was put forth that call for me to implement, esentially, two steps. The first is creating a blog that allows me to write and get feedback on. And after I do this for some time I’m sure that I will end up a little more skilled in the words department. Secondly, the plan is to write a book. Bookforme is the name of the blog after all, and my ultimate goal is to do just that, write a book for me.

Or myself. (I still need help in the words department as you can tell).

Well…I think I may have just begun/talked my way into writing a book. Again. Sort of.

(This is a long story, that will be shortened, and certain areas will be emphasized for dramatic effect. Oh, and there’s spoilers.)

Just like any story begins, two years ago me and a couple friends we sitting around just chatting.  And we got to talking about authors and stories that we love. Then it popped up that some of us had tried writing before and some of us even had a file full of ideas for books. (No, I was not one of them). Then a few things were said and we all decided that we should write a book together.

That’s right, I said friends. As in plural. Three of us.

We got together and went through that folder full of ideas and found one we all felt could turn into a really fun story. We even planned out a lot of characters and plot points and actually attempted to write some stuff down. As it turns out, the two of them are lazy bums. (It should be noted that I am also a lazy bum but of a different caliber than these other fellows). And we only really got a ton of ideas down, but very little writing actually completed.

I was totally for it though. I had never done any writing up to that point. After I attempted my first real writing session, I ended up walking away feeling quite wonderful. I even put a lot of effort into doing that. I mean, I worked really hard over 2500 words when the other guys were barely putting out 500. I felt like I could totally do this. And that was the moment I thought to myself, “I want to write a book before I die.” The seed was planted.

But then us bums were bums, and nothing came of it.

School. Internships. People in and out of my life. Family. More school. Laziness…

Still, that seed wanted to grow.

The decision was made that blogging would become the water for that seed.

And I’ve been watering it pretty consistently for the better part of three months or so. I knew that I wanted to write but wanted feedback to help me learn. And that’s what I did. This blog has really become a part of my life. I really do live on the internet in a way because of this pixelated hole-in-the-wall. I have the freedom to come up with stories and explain life events in a way that is totally unique to me. And I like that.

Here is where the conflict of the story shows up.

I’ve never told anybody about any of it.

Even my “Two Step Plan to Totally Own Some Book Writing Skillz” is a secret. The existence of this blog is a secret. My passion for wanting to write is a secret. Heck, just my writing itself, is a secret.

I never let anybody read my writing other than those two fellows mentioned earlier. And they only read the stuff that I knew they had to read because it was supposed to be in the book that we were making together. I still worked on other things that have been hidden away for nobody to see.

Why then would I decide to start publishing little stories on the internet for all to read? (It’s actually more like maybe a dozen people).

Because I think it would help me get past the fear of letting people see my creativity and judging me for it. Yes. Because I could get feedback in a personable way that would encourage me to keep writing. Yes. To make me think about the audience I was writing for. Yes. To just feel free. Yes. People won’t have any preconceptions about what THAT GUY is writing. Yes.

Still, to this day, my friends, family, and coworkers do not know of my blogging double life. And I don’t plan on letting that change.

How do I keep my secret from those closest to me?

:::Spoiler Alert:::

My name is not really D.A. Bancroft.

GASP!

I know. A real surprise. It’s a pen name. It’s a pseudonym. The proverbial cat is out of the proverbial bag.

(Wait…what do you mean you already suspected/knew this?)

This was the best way to make sure my secret passion was never revealed. Yes, i’m sure somebody could find out if I have an internet presence if they really searched hard enough. And yes, I know people on the internet could probably find out who I really am. But that’s kind of the fun behind it I guess. They could know…but they don’t. How long can I keep this going?

Now, I take you to only a few days ago…

After a while of being lazy bums, those two fellows have decided to “reignite” the whole writing subject.

Here are a few points, both positive and negative, that are placed before me.

* I already have writing commitments on this here blog. I mean, yes, I could just post my progress on this book as my writing for this blog (and it may come to that), but I still want to write much more original material before I really write anything very big.

* I do still want this blog to remain “secret” and will think that me publishing any “group book” work on here would dangerous. There will be words and thoughts involved in this story that will be veeerrry unique. And if any of those showed up on this website, I’m sure that a simple google search would pull off the covers, so to speak.

* I am now a full time employee, and my students will come first before any writing. So I may not have a lot of time to devote to that whole story over there. I will still place my blog before any shaking book idea.

* How do you write a book with more than one author? I know it can be done. I’ve even read some books that were quite good despite them having multiple authors. And these guys are my friends. We know each other. We know what makes each other tick/laugh/cry/sneeze, so i’m guessing we can agree on the direction a story takes. .

* This multi-authorship will also mean that this book is not going to be my complete vision for something as grand as we are planning. It will be full of compromises and shortcomings. It will be our vision. I still want to write a book that is all mine. MY universe. MY decisions. (Call me selfish)

* This project has stalled out before and it could likely stall out again. Now, I don’t plan on being the one to cause no progress to occur, but I fully expect very  little contribution from the other authors unless they light a fire under their butts and get to work. So all this concern may be over nothing.

Still, things will continue here unabated. I think. Progress will go forward.

So there it is. You have my origin story. My big secret. And my dilemma. All in one post at that!

This kind of makes me feel like a super hero…

I am – the batman…

The not really, but still going to use it,

D.A.