Busy Day Today

June 18, 2012

I’ve noticed an interesting trend in my life. The first words I speak every day are usually very odd. I really should just keep a little notebook next to me so when I say the days first words I can jot that down. 

Today’s first words were: “SHELLY’S SEPTIC!” 

I was standing in my bathroom…doing something you would normally do in a bathroom…and looking out the small window. For whatever reason there was a large truck parked in my neighbor’s yard. It was a septic removal service truck. The company was called Shelly’s Septic. Big letters on the side. It just looked like it needed to be said out loud. 

I’m not sure why I yelled it. And yes…I did yell it.

I calls em’ hows I sees em’. 

I also came up with a new thing I’m going to try out. 

You know the phrases “Shucks” and “Darn“?   Yes, these are all socially acceptable curse words that you might say it if you talk like you’re born in the 1940’s. I routinely use them in my everyday language but have been feeling like they’re a little stale. So I’ve decided to mix them up. 

Do you know what you get when you mix the two together?

Sharks. 

So now I’m going to exclaim “SHARKS!” whenever I have reason enough to exclaim. 

What do you mean you’re not impressed by that? Well, I got more for you. 

I went apartment shopping today. It was one of the strangest and most awesome encounters I’ve ever had with a person. She was passively insulting and I lied about owning a jet, having a dog racing addiction,  and owning a Jazzy Power Chair dealership. But that’s another post entirely.

(Seriously, the girl trying to sell me the apartment was a little loopy…and we were joking about 90% of the time she was showing me around but it turns out it was all worth it because it was the nicest apartment I saw today.)

Was the shopping successful? I think so… I may have found a future home for myself. 

I also bought a Mahjong game. It’s pretty rad and is nothing like the Microsoft version you have probably ended up playing. Thank you Goodwill. I still have no idea how to play it…but I’m sure I’ll start gambling with it soon enough. 

I also bought some apple juice. I’m sure you didn’t want to know that…but there it is. It was tasty. 

I’m going to a BYOM (Bring Your Own Meat) cookout tonight. So… I’ll be doing that. 

And there you go. Hope your day was half as exciting as mine. 

Now I’m off to eat the charred remains of some helpless animal. 

D.A.

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