Two in a row…first time in a while.

I don’t have much to say (due to the crazy/laziness in my life right now), but I do have a funny little thing to share with you.

You know how phrases are used all the time? People will say things like “Right as rain” and “Scared half to death”. These phrases are things I heard when I was growing up. When I learned them, I didn’t understand how the phrase came to exist, only that it existed.

You can see this in little kids when they try to repeat certain phrases. They may not say “half to death”, they will probably say something close to it like “haftadef”. It’s close, but it’s not really what is being said. If anything we think it’s cute, which only reinforces that child to misuse or mispronounce the words they are trying to say.

Saying that, I now tell you this.

When I was a kid, I though the phrase “tickle me pink” was actually “pickle me pink”.

It sounds like a punchline to a dirty Irish limerick.

And now that I’ve embarrassed the six-year-old me, I bid you adieu.

D.A.

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5 Days

April 17, 2012

Wow. Holy smokes. Hot cheetoes and rice.

Five days since my last post. It’s almost like I relapsed. I got a whiff of the laziness and I just fell back into the old habit. It has been so long since any original content on here I think my little red moon has some cobwebs around it. You see that?

I guess it hasn’t all been laziness. A good portion of it can be blamed on the increased workload toward the end of the year. For example:

FCAT.

No, I’m not incorrectly cursing about a cat. It’s the state mandated test that occurs in every school in the state of Florida. This week is offically known as FCAT week.

This means kids take a two hour long test on Monday and Tuesday. Then the school scrambles to make sure that every kid who missed taking it on those days end up taking it on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. If they don’t take the test, they fail the test. If they fail the test, they can’t graduate. Luckily this test is given to the 10th graders. So they got 2 more years to make it up. (That happens the week before FCAT Week).

So, this also means the normal hours of the day change. Kids are shuffled around and classes are shorter. Not to mention, we all know kids who just took the test as tired from taking one of the most important tests of the school year. So your day for teaching new material is pretty much shot.

Then I’m getting kicked out of my room for the Wednesday/Thursday Panic-and-make-sure-everybody-has-been-tested days-so-we’re-going-to-steal-your-classroom-all-day sort of thing. That means tomorrow and Thursday I will be in a room other than my own. That also means 12 kids will probably not remember I told them to go to a different room tomorrow. Which means many kids are going to get tardies (teacherism) for not showing up to class on time.

Since I’m in a different room (with a shorter class period might I add), the kids will be distracted and won’t want to learn.

So it’s an uphill battle all week. A guy can’t win.

Oh, and in three weeks the kids take their End Of Course Exams. This exam determines if they pass the class or not. And yes, it occurs four weeks BEFORE the class offically ends.

So what do we do for those four weeks after the class material has all been taught?

I dunno…ask me in about four weeks.

D.A.

Today Feels Like

March 30, 2012

Thursday.

Yesterday felt like Wednesday.

Now that I think about it, so did Wednesday.

Weird schedules at school + coming back from spring break = confusing weekend.

With all my luck you may here me call tomorrow a Tuesday.

…I’m babbling…Sorry.

Brain not working…tomorrow will be better (that’s a Tuesday I think).

D.A.

News Gnus

March 7, 2012

I may have some cool news soon.

Maybe.

Possibly.

Not so cool it’s cold.

If it’s too cold then it wouldn’t be very cold. It would seem heartless and pointless (much like this post). It would also be a very sad thing indeed. And then the news wouldn’t be interesting.

And I can’t possibly give you hot news. Even if that news is fresh and well made…it’s gross to call it hot. And lukewarm comes across as disconcerting.

You know what? I’ll just stick with news.

I may have some cool news for you soon.

It will be new.

It will not be a Gnu.

This is a Gnu.

Any questions?

D.A.

Yes…this was a lazy post…so what.

It’s WHAT?!?!

October 2, 2011

Apparently it’s Sunday.

This is the day that follows Saturday. It is also 4th day that follows Wednesday. Wednesday was the day of my last post.

Whatever happened to me working on this blog? Actually trying to get better at writing…?

Oh, that’s right, I’ve been pre-occupied trying to do all these things:

  • Learning material I have to teach.
  • Delivering material I have to teach.
  • Learning how to teach the material I have to teach
  • Grading papers
  • Writing referrals
  • Making up labs
  • Buy class material when I need them
  • Worry about parents yelling at me
  • Putting grades online
  • Submitting lesson plans
  • Making arrangements for my observation for my teacher evaluations
  • Stress out about my teach evaluations
  • Doing attendance in hindsight because I can’t remember to do it during class
  • Taking away student’s cell phones
  • Wonder if I need to start carrying a baseball bat in my classroom just like Casey Jones.
  • Trying to stay on schedule
  • Turn in any forms I am supposed to turn in during the week
  • Make myself lunch and dinner (Ramen Noodles)
  • Wonder where my time for fun went
  • Find my time for fun laying in a gutter, bleeding, crying, like it had been beaten within an inch of it’s life by Mr. Casey Jones.
  • Get angry at the Florida Gators for losing a game in such a way that they did
  • Help people move into new apartments as they move on with their life
  • Eat bowls of Ramen Noodles as I don’t move on with my life
  • Look at my friends who have happy and loving relationships with people they are going to marry
  • Look deeper into my bowl of Ramen Noodles looking for solutions to the problem…
Things suspiciously absent from my list:
  • Sleeping
  • Having coherent thoughts
  • Peace of mind
  • Enjoyment from students learning new material
  • Good test grades
  • Writing
  • No pain in my feet
Anyway, what I guess I’m trying to say is that I’ve been a little busy, and time seems to fly when you’re busy.
So here is my new goal. To make sure I post at least 4 times this week. That will run from today (Sunday) and will not include this post.
This is now my excuse to write: “Oh, I have to post something online tonight. I made a promise to potentially 3 billion readers. I can’t let them down.” Yes, that isn’t a very good one, but it is at least one.
Now, keep in mind, I have been writing, but not very much, and not for this blog. I started a really cruddy story that I plan on writing into something with a purpose and a real direction. So maybe by the end of this week I will have finished writing/working on this story.
I’m making no promises on how good the story will be, but remember, the goal is just to write. It’s okay if it’s a turd. As long as it’s my turd made from my own effort and time then I will consider it a victory.
In a weather related note I should mention that Florida finally had Fall arrive. It is currently 75 degrees outside for the first time in about 9 months. So, at least I’ve got that going for me.
Alright, I’ll be back… You just keep checking to make sure I do come back. And if I don’t send a group of mercenaries to hunt down and kill my captors. This is because the only reason I would not come back in time for a new post would be due to my being taken hostage and held for a very high (or sadly low) ransom.
D.A.

I’m Just Going To Warn You

September 5, 2011

Now that I’ve been working like a big boy for a few weeks I come to realize something.

Vacations are really really nice.

No, I haven’t taken one. But this long weekend was just so darn wonderful that I wish I had more time to do just this. Not only is it nice to have a whole extra day off, but it’s also really nice to have a short work week coming up.

So what is that thing that I love to do when I get free time?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

It just feels good to not get anything done.

So I think I’ve been making a few plans in my head to help me plan a good summer vacation. Yes I know that Labor Day is generally considered the last day of summer vacations, but I guess it’s never too early to start planning.

I’m contemplating making a trip to Comic Con in San Diego. I have a cousin who recently asked me if I would be interested in going with her. She went this past year and said it was incredible (minus the long hours waiting in line to see a cool panel). I said I would be interested.

Would it be expensive? Yeah, a little, but the benefit is that there would be no charge for staying in a hotel. I have family over there and they live very close to the area.

So that could be happening.

Also, I spoke with my grandmother that lives in Missouri. She asked if I would be coming up any time soon. I said that could totally happen. So why not? Why couldn’t it happen? Hey, I could even go there after I go to Comic Con.

Yeah it would be a long trip. But I mean, it’s going to be the summer. Why not? Right? I would rather get tired of traveling and doing fun things than worrying about grades and lesson plans.

So that could be happening as well.

But if I ended up not going anywhere or doing anything, I would be totally fine with that too. Just the idea of kicking my heels up on the coffee table and vegging out for a few hours seems like it would be a great thing. And keep in mind, making sure that I didn’t have any lesson plans or grades to worry about would be a delight.

Now you’re probably wondering about the title to this post. My warning is that I could end up making plans and then not following through with them. Case in point, my reading list and lamp project are dead in the water. Maybe I could reassess my goals and finish those one day, but for now, they are relics of my past.

Now I’m making plans for next summer, but I’m not really free to make any of those plans. I may not even have a job after next summer. So what if I need to spend the summer looking for a new job?

Hey, for now, I’m just going to try to survive the weeks as they come. After that, I’ll have a better idea of what I am and what I’m dealing with.

So what about you? Do you already have plans for next summer?

D.A.

Looking at this!

And it’s another tired D.A. video of the week!

This one features some very familiar 90’s music I remember hearing on the radio when I was growing up. You know. Around the same time I was hoarding all those Star Wars action figures in my room. And when I was getting bowl shaped hair cuts and scrapping my knee on the concrete when I would fall off my bike. I even remember when McDonald’s were giving away good toys in their happy meals.

It’s all a capella. It’s all 90’s dance hits. It’s all very animated and pretty. And all these people are Danish…  amazing.

It’s just a lot of fun to listen to.

So what are you waiting for? Click and enjoy!

Isn’t that just lovely?

Some of you probably hate a capella music, but I guess you just won’t listen to it. And it’s not like I was in the vocal group so I won’t be offended if you think it’s rather dumb.

Enjoy!

D.A.

Tired

August 17, 2011

I’m tired again…

It’s because I can! Don’t look at me like that.

And that means you’re going to get a lazy post. So in the mean time, listen to this awesome band that always manages to make happy and catchy music that is also visually pleasing to look at.

This is a video of the newest song from Pomplamoose called Monster Mask.

Oh hey, look at that. The title is right there in the video…

That’s right, I’m so lazy I’m not even going to hit backspace enough to delete that unnecessary statement.

There it is,

D.A.

The contest continues

June 15, 2011

So, I’ve been in hiding again. 

But that’s okay because I’m back again. No. It was not mutant corn husks this time. I’m just trying to become an adult and get a job.

You know how that goes, it’s kind of time consuming.

Anyway, my contest is still running.

If you have participated, then your odds of winning are extremely high. So far I’ve gotten as many spam comments as I have real comments. I even got a ‘denial of comment’ comment. So I guess that makes it two and a half. If I don’t get beat by the bots then I will consider this a victory.

If you have NOT participated, then get ready. Maybe you’re at work when you’re reading this. Take an early lunch (or just slack off like you usually do) and write a paragraph about something ridiculous. The goal of the contest is to make me laugh, and I’m sure your talented enough to make me of all people giggle. I even laugh when I stub my toe sometimes… You can be funnier than pain, can’t you?

Maybe you’re at home, and bored out of your mind. Since your so creative and you really feel those juices flowing, go ahead and drop me a few lines on my post with my contest. You can find that here. Trust me, the prizes are beyond your wildest dreams.

Hey, you don’t even need to accept the prize, just make me giggle.

So, 12 more hours until somebody becomes the victor. (Not the name “Victor”, but a champion of contest, victor.)

(Actually, I probably won’t declare a victor until that night).

Don’t worry though, the original content will come back online shortly. As a matter of fact, I’ve pretty much written my next post, but will wait until I claim a winner and then we will be firing on all cylinders again!

I shall rise again,

D.A.