A Note of Change

September 19, 2012

For the past half hour I have sat here trying to type out a post about my dislike of taking naps.

I know that you’re disappointed to read this, but I’m not going to publish it.

Yeah, it was going to be pretty bad. I’m doing you a favor.

I’m pointing this out because I have started many different posts but never really saw them through because, quite honestly they were terrible. (Or just plain boring). But you don’t come here to have crap thrown at you like you’re seeing the gorilla exhibit at the zoo.

This is a a no poop-flinging area.

So you get this in it’s place.

That is all…

D.A.

 

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The Fifth of May

May 4, 2012

For some this is a wonderful day. Many celebrate the day with cheers and fireworks. Some celebrate it because they were married on that day (some personal friends I know). And some people celebrate it in the coolest way possible.

Free Comic Book Day.

All around the country comic book retailers are giving away comic books to help boost the cause of leotard wearing heroes. They will be supporting the growth of one of the most American and genuine forms of visual media that exists today. Also, they will have people dressed up in some pretty sweet costumes that are likely to make me jealous. (Yeah, I want to be a stormtrooper…so what?)

I also may get to see an actual TARDIS. Now that would be pretty awesome. If I do come across a real one (as is implied by the email I receieved) then soon history will change because I will travel through time and will likely insert myself into some pretty significant moments in history. I might even have a presidential portrait. (Spoilers).

The point is…if I post tomorrow…it may not have been posted tomorrow. It may have been posted by me, but the me from the future. And not the me of the future that is the tomorrow me, but the 2186 me. I could also end up being the same person from the 2186 version as I am now because I could have traveled through time to get there, then realized how I forgot to post on this Saturday nearly 200 years earlier.

Are you still with me?

I know it’s complicated. But that’s time travel for you. It’s all wibbly wobbly timey wimey…stuff.

You too should also visit a comic book store so they continue to stay in business as well as provide the public with free services like TARDIS tours and stormtrooper marches. You know, cool things.

D.A.

This Place is a Mess

May 1, 2012

Just look around here! There are digital cobwebs in the corners of this page for Pete’s sake. All the pixels are very dusty. There is even a new section of my blog called “even older posts.” It’s a lot like an elephant burial ground. Very morbid. Very sad.

No, don’t look for it. It doesn’t really exist. I’m just pointing out that this place is practically falling apart without me.

So we need to spiff things back up! But a little elbow grease into those dusty areas. Spruce it up a notch or two. Maybe put in a nice potted plant to  balance the room. Feng Shui if you will. How about a bonsai tree?

Now that our chakras are in line, let’s meditate on the vastness of the universe together.

Remember, breath in through the nose and out through the mouth.

:::Deep breath:::

:::Deep cough due to the dusty room:::

So whatever happened to that girl that said she was going to take care of this place anyway? She’s a real slacker.

So…

Hey!

What’s up? How have you been? How’s the wife and kids? Or the cats? Or the nothing?

That sounds much better. “How’s the nothing?”

Oh me? Oh, yeah, things are fine. As always. They’re just dandy…

Since we’re being so personal let’s go ahead and address the elephant in the room. I haven’t posted in a little while because I’m a lazy bum. Don’t feel bad though. I’ve neglected everything else as well. It wasn’t until today and yesterday that I finally caught up in grading homework from about three weeks ago.

Yeah…I’m a bad person.

As for what’s been going on at work:

We’re hitting the part of the year when everything HAS to fall in place. If it doesn’t then we screw everything up. Grades need to be ready soon. Testing starts back up next week. I have to do inventory for the lab supplies. And I’m certain there are going to be meetings out of the Wazoo. (For those of you who don’t know, the Wazoo is a small and secretive hut used by teachers to have very cramped and pointless meetings. It is usually found behind the cafeteria dumpsters.)

As for what’s been going on in writing:

Not a whole lot. These words you see here are actually the first words I’ve written in about a week. (This means if you received any email/messages from me you are either 1) very lucky because I haven’t done much of anything lately or 2) It’s not actually me it’s an evil doppelganger that somehow found out how to log on to my account.)

As for what’s been going on in life:

I have taken up a new hobby. I drink “gourmet sodas” and I am currently in the search for the perfect cream soda. My journey thus far has taken me to some interesting places. I’ll be sure to share some of these awesome sodas with you soon enough.

Oh, you know why you’ll learn about them? Because I’m going to introduce my very first weekly post.

NEW GOAL: (I love making up goals too much). Create and maintain a weekly segment of posts. They shall henceforth fall on Thursday.

It shall also be known as THIRSTY THURSDAY. It will be my weekly review of another silly soda that has gourmet credentials. (I.E. says “gourmet” on the bottle.)

Sound good? Cool.

So that’s Thursdays planned for the next foreseeable future. (Or until I find that perfect cream soda.)

I’m also going to do my best to make sure that I’m trowing up (bleh!) something on here for the next week. That’s right. It’s another goal of 1 post per day for a week. (When it rains, it pours.)

Maybe some of those posts will be meaningful. Maybe some of them will feature kittens (because everybody loves kittens, right?). There’s even a chance that they could feature me ranting about how I almost killed myself at work the other day. I dunno, but the real point is, expect some more activity on my side of the screen very shortly.

We got things to do.

D.A.

Famous Words

April 25, 2012

Today I really can’t think of too much to say.

Maybe it’s all been said up to this point. Maybe tomorrow I will wake up and remember the volumes of things I have to tell you. For right now I will have to direct you to some of the most famous words uttered in the history of mankind. Please think them over while you wait for a much more comprehensive post from me tomorrow.

Please, consider the following:

“Meep meep meep meep meep meep meep, meep meep meep meep meep. Meep meep meep meep meep! Meep meep.”

-Beaker

Thank you.

D.A.

Today Feels Like

March 30, 2012

Thursday.

Yesterday felt like Wednesday.

Now that I think about it, so did Wednesday.

Weird schedules at school + coming back from spring break = confusing weekend.

With all my luck you may here me call tomorrow a Tuesday.

…I’m babbling…Sorry.

Brain not working…tomorrow will be better (that’s a Tuesday I think).

D.A.

News Gnus

March 7, 2012

I may have some cool news soon.

Maybe.

Possibly.

Not so cool it’s cold.

If it’s too cold then it wouldn’t be very cold. It would seem heartless and pointless (much like this post). It would also be a very sad thing indeed. And then the news wouldn’t be interesting.

And I can’t possibly give you hot news. Even if that news is fresh and well made…it’s gross to call it hot. And lukewarm comes across as disconcerting.

You know what? I’ll just stick with news.

I may have some cool news for you soon.

It will be new.

It will not be a Gnu.

This is a Gnu.

Any questions?

D.A.

Yes…this was a lazy post…so what.

Tired

August 17, 2011

I’m tired again…

It’s because I can! Don’t look at me like that.

And that means you’re going to get a lazy post. So in the mean time, listen to this awesome band that always manages to make happy and catchy music that is also visually pleasing to look at.

This is a video of the newest song from Pomplamoose called Monster Mask.

Oh hey, look at that. The title is right there in the video…

That’s right, I’m so lazy I’m not even going to hit backspace enough to delete that unnecessary statement.

There it is,

D.A.

About Saturdays

August 13, 2011

And Sundays as well…

People don’t really get on WordPress when they have quality and engaging things to do outside of the internet. But don’t worry, we will all come crawling back to it once the weekend is over.

Hey, I wasn’t even here on Friday, but that’s because I was having trouble deciding which seat to take…

Front? Back?

Still, for some reason I’ve decided that I will post this short little snippet about the weekends.

Let’s try a social experiment!

I’m going to post this at around 4:15 p.m. on Saturday.

Answer the poll and we’ll get a nice little sample size of activity on WordPress during the weekends! Or this will be a complete failure because nobody will read this once I post something new on here. So, just because of that, I probably won’t post until Monday.

Your statistical and scientific friend,

D.A.

He was battered and bruised. Sweat was dripping from his brow. Heat peirced his mind. He was exhausted. He stopped walking and considered his future. It didn’t look well.

“This will be my demise,” he thought to himself. “No man could continue in these conditions. I pray the Lord meets me with comfort on the other side.”

The trip was a disaster. His entire expedition crew started with 36 men. Now, after nearly 7 months lost in the jungle, it was just him. His last mate had succumbed to disease, probably malaria, nearly three weeks earlier. He wasn’t in any condition fit for traveling either. He was sure he had a fever, dehydrated, and starving.

The bones in his feet felt like gravel. He couldn’t go on.

“I will lay here. Maybe the heat will take me quickly.” he mumbled to himself.

He pulled off his pack. It didn’t have anything in it but it was still a relief to take it off. Maybe death wouldn’t be so bad. It would only take a little while. He was certain the only reason he was still standing was because of his sheer willpower.

But now his will had run out. He no longer wanted to continue.

He looked out into the landscape and took one last look at what drew him to this jungle. His expedition was sent here by King Ferdinand II in order to explore the new territories his country had claimed. He would be the first to pave the way for new colonies. But from the very beginning things had gone awry.

“It would be beautiful if it were not so venomous.” he mused. “Maybe the next group will come and find my dry bones. They will then bury me at home. That is the most fitting thing I can hope for.”

In his breast pocket he felt the paper. It was the last letter he had written to his wife, Emily. It had never been sent, but he kept it close to him in hopes that, if he were found, she might get to read his last thoughts. His thoughts of her.

In his last surveying of the land, he spotted a small flicker. A small fire.

A camp?

Rescue?

He knew he couldn’t make the walk down the valley. His legs would not move anymore after he stopped. His only chance was to call out and hope they heard.

He knew he would use all of his energy to just get the words out but it was his only chance.

“Still,” he said to himself, “I must try.”

He screamed until the blood rushed into his head. Before he blacked out he remembered how Emily looked on a Sunday morning. Maybe he would see her again one day…

***

“Where have you been?” the soft-spoken shadowy figure asked him.

I- I’ve been-” the man tried coughing out the words. The figure then gave him a little water to ease his pain.

The person began, “We didn’t hear word from your journey so a rescue team was sent out. We were getting concerned you wouldn’t come back. We have been searching for your team for months. Up until today, we thought all hope was gone, but we only found you. What happened?”

“I’ve been-” he looked for the words. “House sitting.” he whispered before he passed out again.

Emily looked at her exhausted husband. He was alive but was clearly defeated.

What had happened to make him utter such strange words?

Journey’s End © D.A. Bancroft

 

I”M BACK! No more house/animal sitting.

I know….the story was pretty lame…but I feel relieved like the weary traveler.

Full internet access. No dogs. No cats. No geckos. No turtles. No frogs. No more cleaning of animal feces and urine. No more wondering how the light switches work. No more anything.

Oh wait… I got hired.

So I guess let the worrying begin!

I would love to tell you all about the crazy hiring process that I’m going through but, hey, that’s not going to be very entertaining nor informative. That’s because I just do what they tell me and hope I’m doing it right.

In short, I will have less than a week before I get access to textbooks/materials/classroom/computers before students show up. So I will have to plan my entire year in the matter of a full work week.

Still, I’m looking forward to it!

I understand that it’s going to be hard and annoying at times but at least it’s my room. My plans. My effort. It’s all mine.

I’m not trying to sound very possessive or anything but I just haven’t been solely responsible for a classroom yet. I’ve only interned and that felt like there was a lot of ‘hand-holding’ involved.

I have a lot to say that I haven’t been able to say in the past week or so…so expect that to show up on here within the next week. This is really more of a “hey, i’m back” post…

So, what did you do while I was gone? (I hope it involves monster trucks and not cleaning up dog crap.)

D.A.

I Know.

July 10, 2011

I know. I know.

Bad things happen.

I’m late with a story, (as usual).

I haven’t posted in a few days, (as usual).

This is a, sort of, appology, (as usual).

But today is the day.

A short story will be posted by 9 p.m. tonight. (not as usual)

That’s right. I even gave a time!

So that means it’s official!

It will happen!

Tonight!

Story!

You!

Read!

Happytime!

Yes!

Now I must go back to typing more of said story into the computer.

Oh, said story will be called Moving Ahead.

It will be about movingahead.

D.A.