Fluffy Goodness

May 2, 2012

My life has changed darastically in the past 96 hours. You know why? Because I’m the proud owner of these bad boys.

(Not actually these pillows of course. These were stolen from the internet in order to serve as a very pleasant visual descriptor of the joy I’ve been experiencing lately. So if you own these images, please don’t sue me. Just send me more free pillows that are of this quality. Thank you.)

I bought some new pillows and I highly recommend that you do the same. (Particularly of this fine brand that can be found right in the middle of the Google image search you pull up after typing in “pillows”.)

Even this very moment I’m imagining myself just curling up in my bed caressing these wonderful pillows. They’re like being hugged by a cloud made of happiness and 500 milligrams of tryptophan.

And they’re not even that nice of pillows. They’re just new. They aren’t  flat and lumpy. They aren’t causing a crick in my neck from the odd angle of my head resting on its side. They don’t even have those mysterious smells in them anymore that reminded me of peanut butter and crab cakes. (No, I didn’t sleep on pillows that were smothered with peanut butter and crab cakes. And if I did then I wouldn’t openly admit that to you right now. I would play the deny game.

Just good, clean, soft pillows. That’s all it takes.

:::Takes deep breath:::

:::Exhale:::

I like this breathing thing. I should do it more often.

I should also mention how I’m so excited with my new pillows that I think these bags of cotton have made me reexamine my entire life.

So here’s a list of things that simple pillows have made me look at:

  1. Straight lines are only good on clothing/furniture if the lines stay straight. They just look weird if they get wrinkled.
  2. I need to buy some more shelf space for random items (books) in my room.
  3. There are also a few older books that I really should depart with…(harsh reality)
  4. I may need to buy an electric guitar soon. Why? Because I have wanted one for 11 years and still don’t own one. And it’s not like I couldn’t afford it.
  5. I’ve kept some old assignments from college that will never be used ever again. These should go as well.
  6. Boxes are at least seven times better than bags.
  7. I need to clear some things off my plate. (Or at least limit those activities to a specific time every day).
  8. Wads of cash that I compulsively hoard don’t do any good unless I spend them.

Yes, all these thoughts were conceived from the rest and relaxation I have experienced from new pillows. You should probably join the fluffy goodness as soon as possible. (I’m thinking I could start a cult that does nothing but nap all day on fresh pillows and I wouldn’t have any seconds thoughts about it.)

Snoring peacefully,

D.A.

 

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Safety Net

January 4, 2012

This post was made in the event that I didn’t wake up after I got home from work today. 

Assume I am still alive and that I still have a job. Also assume I will not become Rip Van Winkle. Though I wish I would become Rob Van Winkle… even if for a day.

(If you don’t know who this is, do a quick Google search to discover this person’s identify. Prepare to be surprised. Then prepare to agree with me. You know you wish you were him, if even for a day. Especially in 1992.)

So this safety net post will draw attention to something that I found a little surprising.

If you post here on WordPress, you will have noticed some of the nice little things that they have done for the holiday season. You may have also noticed the change in the “challenges” you get after you post new content. They set goals for you to post so many times and then you reach a goal.

I’m not opposed to the gesture. It gives the idea of putting out new posts a little bit of a competitive edge. And I’m sure that could be useful in motivating you (or myself) in putting up good stuff now and then.

But I have one qualm.

If you challenge me, I demand rewards. I want my page to become golden dipped for a whole day if I have a streak of 20 posts with no days missing. Yes, that would suit me.

I also want badges. Achievements that would allow me to unlock new fonts and symbols. Maybe even a ranking among all the others in this blogosphere. Yes….

Oh no, I realized I am proposing something stupid.

I want Call of Duty to team up with WordPress.

Maybe it’ll be called Call of Duty: Blogpocalypse. Or Call of Duty: Type, Type, Boom!. Possibly Call of Duty: Social Media War.

Okay, maybe it’s not THAT bad of an idea…

D.A.

From the Beginning

January 3, 2012

I told you.

Well? Didn’t I?

I remember clearly. I said to you, “You may see a lot of me or you may not see any of me.”

It was the latter.

I have been hiding in a hole for my entire 3 week break just loving not doing anything. It was glorious.

Tomorrow will restart the process to putting my brain to work trying to educate the minds that will become our future.

And I’m not very excitied. Wanna know why?

The average “fall-asleep time” for me for the past 3 weeks was aroooooouuuuund …. 3 a.m.

On typical workdays I wake up at 4:30 a.m.

Tomorrow will be a hard day. Very hard indeed.

Hey, if you watch the news tomorrow and you hear a story of a teacher in Florida who suddenly became Rip Van Winkle after a hard day at work, you’ll know who it is.

At least it’s a short week. 3 days. I’m putting my hope in time to somehow go by very fast. I’m also putting hope in my recently developed “scramble up-something-good-for-the-classroom” skills. I’m really hoping they work tomorrow.

Now I’m going to stop writing and try to find a way of putting myself to sleep. Wish me luck.

Why don’t you go ahead a tell me how you get out of the back from vacation funk? I would be willing to hear anybody’s advice.

P.S.- I have no idea why I titled this post “From the Beginning”, but just pretend that it fit in and that it was really intelligently put together.

One Of My Strangest Fears

September 28, 2011

There have been so many situations in my life where I have become stricken with deep fear.

Riding that roller coaster (never again), riding a ski-lift, being left alone at the mall by my mom (probably on purpose), meeting Barney the Dinosaur at that same mall… There are all kinds of moments. But one moment seems to pop up more often than I would prefer (like I would prefer to keep running into Barney, right?)

It’s a fear that causes me to stop all rational thought and panic. It’s a fear that I speak about only in hushed whispers. It’s a fear that makes me feel like I have some deep-seeded emotions that I haven’t yet discovered.

So I might as well make a blog post about it. Then some psychopath will find out who I am, kidnap me, drug me, and make me perform tasks associated with my fear for his entertainment. A-la Saw.

I have a real fear of my teeth falling out.

Allow me to make a distinction. No, I don’t expect to find myself walking into a dentist’s office with all of my teeth in a cup of milk (not sure if this works or not) because I tried chewing a Jawbreaker. And no, I don’t think my teeth are rotting away and will eventually fall out. (I keep imaging something along the lines of meth mouth.)

(Word to the wise: If you Google search ‘meth mouth’ you will see some very disturbing things. View at your own risk.)

Since this usually happens in the morning I always end up freaking out more than I should. My brain isn’t working quite right yet. Feelings are a little distorted at that time of the day. There are still occasions where this has happened during the day, when I’m more than awake, but these are quite rare. It usually involves me mistakenly chewing on a fork or something.

I should also preface this description with an explanation of a habit of mine. I am always using my tongue to feel my teeth. It’s constant. When I’m not doing anything, I’m feeling my front right bottom incisor tooth. I have this little sharp part that I imagine I’m sanding down over time. (In all reality I’m probably just scraping up my tongue, but no matter.)

When I was younger I did this in a much more obvious manner. I might use my fingers or chewing gum to make marks of how big my teeth had grown (after I lost my baby teeth of course.)

I guess the habit just stuck over the years.

And before your imagination runs away with this very private detail of my life, I don’t do it in an obvious way. I do it with my mouth closed and it can’t been seen. (I’m certain it can’t be seen.) So don’t go thinking that I stand there talking to people with my mouth agape and you see my teeth getting lashed.

Anyway! 

I usually wake up with the notion that I haven’t had incisors for the past 3 years. They have been taken out for some…experiment or something. Then I run my tongue over my teeth for a few seconds and actually feel gaps! Oh no! It’s like my brain is pulling one over on me. Then when I start to panic and look around on my bedspread for my teeth. I don’t find them. Then I end up reaching into my mouth with my hand only to be relieved that they are still there.

You win again Brain…

I’m sure none of you wanted to learn this about me today.

I’m also sure some of you have run your tongue over your teeth while reading this.

Are they all there? Anything missing? Did you count? Find any sharp points?

Oh, in a related note, I sometimes get the sensation that my teeth are “loose”. As in not in the proper positions and have shifted. I can then poke them and it feels like they are swaying side to side. Then I eat something and the sensation disappears. Weird stuff, I know.

So, since I shared some odd habits/details of my life, now it’s your turn.

Do you have any strange fears? Funny habits? Odd thoughts? 

Just checked his teeth again,

D.A.