The Big Conspiracy

May 27, 2011

So I’ve noticed some sort of a, let’s call it, conspiracy.

Remember only a few short years ago how different t-shirts were? I’m not talking about the design or size or anything. I’m talking about the tag. Whatever happened to the idea of the tag?

Don’t get me wrong. I hate the tag. I hate the tag on anything. I was hating the tag so hard people asked me if I was getting paid to hate the tag. No. I was pro bono on hating the tag. I made hating the tag cool. When I was a kid I remember hati- wait. Sorry. I’m losing it here. Let me refocus.

I really hate the tag when it’s on the inside of the side of the shirt. You know what I’m talking about, right? How it’s always scraping you in the side? Maybe it curls up and pokes you as well. I mean, wow. How could that possibly be better than at the back? At least in the back it felt a little symmetrical. And the back of your neck had built up a small immunity to it. Or, at least when compared to your side. The side has no chance of being free from it’s discomfort.

This topic brings up something else. Why did it take so long for the “tagless” shirt to come out? I mean, really, we cured smallpox decades before the tagless shirt. I would like to believe that humans are pretty intelligent, curing disease and all, but did it really take that long?

Look at it  from a business standpoint. More comfort = more happy customers. Less material = Lower cost. Win – Win.

In short, I smell cover-up. Who’s with me?

In other news.I didn’t get anything done today. Not just in terms of writing (except this) but in terms of everything.

My lazy meter has been in the red all day today. I shouldn’t be okay with that, but I am. Sometimes I’m very good at coping with my own inadequacies.

For your added benefit here’s a list of a few things that make me feel awesome:

  1. Old episodes of Hey Arnold.
  2. The free release of the Portal 2 soundtrack.
  3. The smell of opening a pack of Magic: the Gathering cards.
  4. The smell of books from the used bookstore.
  5. The smell of clean cups. (You don’t really know if a cup is clean unless you smell it).
  6. People commenting on my short story Memorandum RE: Galaxy. (Trust me, I’m almost done promoting it).
Tomorrow I will get stuff done. Yes. Tomorrow.