Leader for the Day

August 30, 2011

Remember this?

When you were in kindergarten or 1st grade your teacher would award the “best student” of the day and they would become class leader?

Was my school the only one that did this?

So you would get caught doing something cool or nice during the week. Your teacher would walk up to you and say something to the effect of, “Wow, good job Douglas! You put the toys away very nicely.” or “Douglas, that was very nice of you to let Sarah borrow your crayons during that lesson.” Then you would get a gold star or something next to your name.

Then on Friday you became Class Leader. You get to walk in the front of the line when you go to P.E or lunch. It means you get to sit at the head of the  table with the teacher. First dibs on certain toys during play time. You might even get to take a nap on the non-sticky nap pad. (That means it’s the mat that Timmy didn’t pee on yet. You know you remember that kid…)

If you were super lucky, the teacher would buy you a Slush Puppie at lunch too. Oh how your cherry syrup stained lips would glimmer at the other kids. They would be so jealous.

Just in case you don't know what a Slush Puppie is, here is it's illegally obtained brand logo for your pleasure.

Yeah, this who thing. Leader for the day. That’s what yesterday felt like on WordPress.

Apparantly I had my last post became “Freshly Pressed.”

I mean, I think it’s really cool and all that, but let’s be honest, I only get to be leader for the day. It’s not like I get the spot on the front page for a whole year. So, I’m just taking the moment to say this:

ATTENTION ALL OF YOU WHO ARE NEW TO THIS BLOG!

I currently have a goal of trying to put a marble in each country on the planet. Yes, I’m serious. I currently have marbles in Canada and the United States…Yes, I know that’s not impressive but all things have to start somewhere.

But if you just send me an email with your address I will be happy to send you a marble. Then you can have it to keep and hold forever and ever.

If you would like more information please read one of my previous posts on the topic.

Now for those of you who have already known me for a while…

I bet you’re wondering if my newfound fame is going to get to my tiny brain.

In short, yes. Yes it is. I’ve just decided it would be worth it because this could be my 15 minutes of fame.

As a matter of fact, half an hour after I found out about this whole thing, I hired an agent. He’s pretty mean, but he gets the job done.

For example:

I already have a movie deal in place where I’m starring opposite Seth Rogen in a buddy cop movie.

I have even started working with Kanye West on a new album. It’s pretty tight yo.

I’ve also updated my wardrobe to only being made by Armani. It’s just how I roll now.

Like I mentioned earlier, I’m leader for the day now…I can do whatever I want.

I hope you’re not still staring at my wonderfully red lips because I’ve been drinking a delicious Slush Puppie.

Making loud slurps in your direction,

D.A.

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Maybe it’s just me, or it’s just the effects of technological trends, or it’s the race of genetically modified corn husks that are taking over the world, but has anybody noticed that the number of members on WordPress has been steadily decreasing? In the past week I believe I’ve seen nearly 5,000 people leave the site. (I am seeing this on the homepage, when you first sign in). Since I love participating in reckless speculation as well as sorry excuses for my past mistakes, allow me to elaborate on the causes of depopulation in the blogosphere.

Let me tell you why it could just be me:

I have only been on here for a couple of weeks. It’s possible that I’m just seeing something very commonplace here and I have no previous experience to base it on. Maybe the “population” of bloggers on the site ebbs and flows, just like any other real biological population. There are down periods and there are up periods. Knowing that WordPress is one of the more popular blog sites, I expect the numbers to trend around the same area, with some sporadic dips and rises from time to time.

That’s one reasonable explanation….

Let me tell you why it could be due to technological trends:

Blogging may be dying. I’m not sure if it will actually die so much as it will just wain until something similar (and likely better) will replace it. Maybe more and more people will commit their blogs to a more vlog format. This may be happening now and I just don’t see it’s big effects quite yet. Also, Twitter may be responsible because it allows people to enjoy the benefits of social networking as well as creating short written content (kind of like a really tiny blog). Less work + Ease of use = Big satisfaction.

That explanation is logical as well…but

Let me tell you why IT IS the mutated corn husks:

It’s my fault. I let them out. They overran me. I just thought they looked so friendly and all cooped up in those cages. I guess I just have a thing for illegally modified food products stuck in cages.

One of them even screamed obscenities into my ear as they trampled over me. It was awful. Not the obscenities, I can’t speak Cornish, but the trampling. You wouldn’t believe the number of very small scratches I have all over my face. Not to mention, I might lose my janitorial position at Aperture Laboratories for my boo-boo.

I’m not sure what they want, again the language barrier is there, but I know they do not like bloggers that do only movie reviews. When they made it to the city, they bought out all the seats in the movie theaters that they could find. I’m still not sure why did this, or how they got the money, but that seems to be the first part of their plan. Then they found out where they (the bloggers) all live and just filled their homes and apartments with their fellow husk-folk. People can’t move in there. They’re probably getting cuts as well.

Last I heard they were going to buy ad space on major search engines. I can’t imagine what they’re going to do with it.

Anyway, I’m sure it’ll just blow over. Just in case though, I wouldn’t go out past sundown. They can sneak up on you pretty quick.

So, sorry for the Corn Husk thing, it may have ruined WordPress.

D.A.