I’m This Many

May 15, 2013

TWO.

Two years of adding/not adding material on this site.

How bout’ that?

With time comes…mostly just time. Not much else I suppose. I’m not much different than what I was when I first started blogging.

Well…with a few exceptions.

But you should find your local comic book shop (Or LCS for us very hip hipsters in the know) and visit them tomorrow.

Why tomorrow?

Because it’s free comic book day of course!

The time of the year when you can just smell the ink and recycled paper in the air. You can hear fanboys groaning about the new author on that one popular title. You might see the flicker of colors as the pages of graphic novels are perused before they’re bought.

The deals vary from place to place, but you are likely to get some very good savings on days like this.

Also, you get free comics…hence the name.

But really, clear out an half hour to swing by somewhere and pick up some title you’ve never read before. Or just pick up a comic for the first time. Want suggestions?

Batman…all Batman.

Don’t like Batman?

That’s tough. You know what will help fix that problem?

Read Batman.

Don’t feel like reading the “Batman” title?

That’s okay, try some of these others.

Detective Comics, Batman Inc., Batman and Robin, The Dark Knight, Batgirl, Batwoman, Red Robin, Nightwing, Red Hood and the Outlaws, World’s Finest, The Brave and the Bold, Justice League, Batwing, Birds of Prey, Catwoman, and Talon.

Most importantly, they are all associated with Batman in some respect.

Yes, there are other comics out there, but why not stick which what you really want? Bats has got it for you.

There you go. Now you’ve got a busy Saturday.

sdrawkcaB elttiL A

May 1, 2013

Sorry to confuse you. I really shouldn’t be so stupid that I would put nonsense into my title.

But it’s been one of those days. Tomorrow and Friday will likely be the same.

So I tried to get ahead of the curve and wrote some posts for later in the week rather than today. So, you’ll have to wait later for real content, even though I did, in fact, do it today. That also gives me grounds to make a lazy post right now. The other posts are also sort of time sensitive as well.

I would also like to let you know that the last item in my previous post has been deemed invalid. Apparently I played the same song today and no tornado occurred. Statistically I’m still batting around .500, so that’s still enough to get me in the hall of fame.

Goodnight,

D.A.

 

I Almost Died Today

April 30, 2013

(Kinda sorta, but more of a statement of fact than fantasy)

I shall embellish as necessary. You know, for entertainment purposes. But I think as I write this I will end up being more truthful than anything.

SO THERE I WAS… learning how to play Earth, Wind, and Fire’s song September on guitar. (Yeah, specifically this song) And I hear a little bit o’ thunder in the background. But, hey, I pay no mind to a little thunder. I live in Florida after all, thunder is just as common as senior citizens driving golf carts and theme parks.

By the way, in order to get in the mood, you should listen to this as you read on.

So I keep groovin’ and the thunder keeps boomin’.

Now, I should preface everything I’m about to say with this statement. One of my biggest fears is severe weather and only in recent years (let’s say the past 7 or so) I’ve been able to quell the fear that surges through me when I hear the emergency alert system buzz. Since I’ve been living on my own I have not been in a severe weather event. So… this was a first for me. Facing a major fear while totally alone and helpless.

 

So, as I was saying, I kept playing.

For whatever reason I decided to glance out the window and see if it was even raining yet.

Yeah, quite a bit actually. And the wind was looking rather breezy.

This, in my mind, qualifies as a level 2 threat (on a scale of 1 to 10 of course). This means I pull up a website that has some current radar for my area.

“No biggie” I think to myself. “Tis but a sprinkle.” (Yeah, that’s how I talk to myself)

Then the webpage seems aglow with…colors. Like freaking Christmas trees colors. All of them on top of my homestead.

“Oh eff…” I say to myself (and yes, I say eff as a word, deal with it)

I turn on the T.V. and click to a local news station. I’m immediately bombarded with the familiar buzz of the EAS and it telling me, nay, SCREAMING at me, words I don’t want to see.

Tornado.

Looked and sounded a lot like this.

And my car isn’t even in the garage… MOTHER OF PEARL!

So I do what any responsible, conscientious, well thought out person would do. I put down my guitar, grabbed a pillow and stood in front of the T.V. like a moron.

Then I start to hear the rain start to roar, and my apartment (not homestead, sorry) starts to vibrate flood falling from above. I look outside and see how it’s near white outside with rain and the few trees I can see are whipping around as if they were some wet haired woman in a Whitesnake music video.

Oh boy.

So I put on some house slippers and begin to wonder if I should move to the closet or the bathroom (which is pretty much the same place). My panic stricken mind agrees that the best place would be the shower. More support in the walls as well as the tub to help with reinforcing me in place. (No basement and I live on the second story, I’m screwed no matter what).

So, I stand in the shower until I hear the roar of 1 inch thick hail pound on my windows, door, roof, (and my poor car). I even hear the whipping of the trees outside of my place shake violently.

This happens for about 45 agonizing seconds. In which time I said the foxhole prayer 3 times and started contemplating whether I should pull out my phone and record my last will and testament as I wait for the tornado to sweep me away to the land of Oz. I thought, “This is it D.A., you’re a gonner.”

It really started to sound like something from War of the Worlds was going on outside.

Then it stopped just as quick as it started.

Quivering, holding a small pillow, I stepped out of my tub and into the living room. The updated radar indicated it had passed overhead. I was in the clear.

I picked up the guitar again and played for another hour. Went to the store and picked up a steak. Cooked that steak with some green peppers and onions, with a baked potato on the side. I enjoyed every bite a little more knowing the chemicals in my brain still let me remember that I thought I was going to die on this day, April 30th, 2013.

Let’s recap what we should have learned from this experience.

1. I might want to take notice of the weather a little faster next time, juuuuust in case the giant swirly wind tube of destruction decides my presence is needed elsewhere.

2. I need to consider putting my car IN the garage when I know a storm might be a-brewin’.

3. I make tornadoes happen when I play Earth, Wind, and Fire on guitar.

 

Now, fear me.

D.A.

 

A Glorious $5 Mistake

April 29, 2013

As a young man I loved the games. Games of all sorts. Computer. Video. Board. Card. Mind. All of them. They were the sprinkles on the ice cream cone of life. 

In the year 2003 (I know…) a game came out which changed my life. Actually, it was the sequel to a game that changed my life. It was called SimCity 4. 

Yes. That really boring city simulator that makes you make decisions about ordinances and if you want to make neighboring deals that help you sell your garbage. Also you have to make decisions where you want to put your mansion and if you should put an avenue there or a bus stop. 

I loved it. Still do. But last year I tried dusting off the old disks to SimCity 4 and, lo and behold, the game is so outdated it wouldn’t properly boot up. Yes, there are people online who say with a little bit of wiggling of wired and screaming you can get it to work, but I’m lazy. Very lazy. I decided to let it die and become a relic of the past. Let time polish that memory into a shining gem of my past.

Even fairly recently (I think within the past few months) the same company decided to finally release a sequel to one of my favorite games. No, it’s not called SimCity 5, just simply SimCity. And general opinion is pretty consistent.

It’s a turd. 

A big, expensive, glitchy, weak turd of a game. 

A lot of people have tried to get a refund because they are so disappointed. (If you don’t believe me check out /r/SimCity for a more lengthy bashing of said game). 

One again, I figured it would be smart this possible drain on my wallet and just let bygones be bygones. 

Until I noticed a Steam sale that featured a $5 copy of SimCity 4. And…it says it’ll work with my machine…

Well…I did it.

And I still love it. 

Do I feel bad? No, but my Sims don’t like pollution too much. Do I need to go to bed? No, I need to entice Sims to build more high tech industry. Do I have papers to grade? Of course I do, but I need to build high-capacity schools in my town if I want some nice commercial land value later on.

Why am I telling you this? Because I need possible names for my new cities. 

You may leave them behind in list form if you wish. 

D.A.

 

Until last night when the internet 

Dr. Phil’d

April 27, 2013

Tonight I drove home stuck in a very thoughtful mood. 

Actually, I drove home and ended up thinking about things I don’t usually think about too often and sort of talked about things (not out loud) that were going on in my life. I think I was my own little psychologist.

I guess you could say I Dr. Phil’d myself in the car. (And no, that’s not a euphemism for “I pooped myself while driving”; though it should be.)

I’m not sure if you get these moments as well.

This isn’t a super rare occasion for me either. Periodically I’ll  find myself feeling incredibly aware of how things in my life really are while I’m just cruising around by myself.  It’s sort of like getting a progress report on your life for that 20 minute car ride. Or maybe it’s my brain’s way of saying “hey, you need to download some updates right now.” It just helps me stay aware of who and what I am.

After that little drive I feel like I’m conscious of why I make/have made/will make the decisions I do/done/will do and it feels good. Makes me feel like I’ve still got autonomy in my life. I think I get some clarity at those times when I wasn’t really expecting it, but it’s greatly appreciated.

Overall, I felt that things were okay. I like my job. I don’t have any major health concerns I’m aware of. I get along with the people in my life. My closet doesn’t have any grotesquely large skeletons inside (except, of course, those of my enemies whom I have slain in battle), and I have money. Those things alone put me in a much better position than so many others.

Now, I’m not saying everything is perfect. Honestly, who could? I still wish my job stability was much more solid (teachers in the sunshine state are only hired on yearly contracts with no obligations to keep said teacher for any period of time beyond that contract). I would like to buy a house but I’m sort of dependent on that job situation. If I try to buy a house and then I get “bumped” from one school to another, would I even want to live in that home anymore if it was far away from my school? What if I simply don’t get rehired and I can’t find any open slots anywhere?

Another byproduct of the quiet ride home is looking as some of those more… troubling aspects of my past. I really look at those whom I’ve lost over the years. There are even some who just aren’t lost (meaning they’re still alive) they’ve just moved on in life to other places.

Still, considering those things, I’m happy. I’m glad I don’t have to walk 3 miles to the nearest “clean” water source. I’m thrilled I have a car that gets me where I need to be. I’m proud I can say I could potentially become a homeowner. I’m even joyed in the idea that I can live a simple enough life that I can share my little moment of existentialism with strangers staring at glowing screens from all across the globe.

I know that’s all kind of general and sappy, but it means a lot to write that down. Thanks for reading it if you did, fellow human. You’re special.

So what about you, where are you when the thoughtful mood strikes you?

D.A.

 

Distractions

April 25, 2013

One of my biggest distractions has been my reawakening of my love of guitar. I used to play primarily the bass guitar, but since I’m not in a band anymore, it’s sort of hard to keep myself entertained with just that. So I decided to play acoustic guitar a little more often, and quickly found myself obsessed with the idea of finally becoming the owner of an electric guitar.

After 11 years, I finally did it.

Say hello to the newest member of my family.

my newest addition

my newest addition

It’s an Fender American Special Stratocaster and I think it’s puuurty. I also believe you owe me a round of applause because I’m only posting the one photo. You could have gotten a very long album that featured a really creepy amount of photos with an inanimate object.

Want to know more about it? OF COURSE YOU DO! WHO WOULDN’T WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS THING?

It’s an easy guitar to play. The radius on the neck is perfect for my tiny hands and helps me bend strings without any effort at all. (This is something new to me because my acoustic guitar was just a turd to try to bend with).

WANT ME TO BLAB ON FURTHER?!

It also sounds fantastic. It came with Texas Specials inside and “upgraded pots” which allow me to enjoy fiddling with those knobs and it doesn’t lose anything.

MORE THINGS!

It even comes with a groovy 7o’s style headstock. Looking at it makes me feel like I’m back on the road touring with The Who and Led Zeppelin.

I AIN’T EVEN DONE!

The finish is spiffy as well. A natural wood look with a sunburst feel. Not too dark, not too light. Just a golden honey appearance makes you feel like they grabbed a honeycomb and just buffed it for a couple of hours.

Am I sounding like a advertisement for Fender guitars? I hope so! I really hope they decide to reward my loyalty by giving me a Telecaster…free of charge. (I’d take it in a natural tone, much like this. Not begging, just asking….)

So what has this guitar done for me? It helped me write my second song….ever.

Yeah, so what…

And it has fed the obsession with looking at guitars as beautiful and artful things. Which only makes me want more and different ones.

Now I just need a decent amp…

Jealous? Thought so…

Now I’ve got crap to grade/not grade.

D.A.

 

 

 

I Fell Asleep

April 24, 2013

While writing this post last night, I fell asleep.

What does that mean for you?

Not much. As in, you’re not going to read much of what I’ve written because, well…there isn’t much to read. Just this for now.

So yeah. Thought I should tell you that.

I can practically hear your disappointed sighs. (They’re the kind of sighs people make after they let somebody pick where they all will go out to eat lunch and they pick the “deli shelf” at SevenEleven.)

Don’t worry. I promise this won’t smell questionable and won’t make you sick three and a half hours later. (But if you do get sick shortly after reading this, please call your physician and follow their instructions.)

D.A.

THE List

April 23, 2013

And yes, I wanted to make this clear that this isn’t just any list; it’s THE List.

This list will include items that I’m planning on adding to the docket for this summer. (That’s the 8 blissful weeks that I will not be working and hopefully making a full recovery from the school year.)

I shall also use this opportunity to explain my scheduling methodology with all of you. Feel free to use it.

It’s called … Pencil and Ink.

When things are penciled in it means they are scheduled to occur, but if something else comes up they can be shuffled into another time slot to fit my need. This means they have a 50% chance of occurring at their scheduled time, a 40% chance of happening at another time, a 9% chance of not happening at all, and a 1% of becoming the basis for me hurting myself in some embarrassing accident.

In no particular order:

1. Play video games. Urgency: Pencil

In particular I would like to purchase Bioshock Infinite and just spend a day exploring that world and probably getting frustrated/terrified. I would also like to find a day where I could get the largest number of people together to have a good old fashioned Halo LAN party. (If you’re in Florida, feel free to offer your Xbox/T.V./original copy of Halo)

2. Read. Urgency: Ink

That’s all. Just read. Hopefully lots. But reading is a must. It’s just got to happen. Hopefully every night before bed.

3. Sleep in. Urgency: Inky Ink.

I don’t even really have to plan this. It’s a certainty. You can bet the farm on this one.

4. Writing. Urgency: Ink from a permanent marker that was left in your pocket that you accidentally left in the wash. (You’ve been there)

It’s gots to happen Cap’n. Word? (Obviously I need to get back into the habit of writing in clearly written English as opposed to my life-on-the-streets manner.) But I would like to write (besides this blog) for at least an hour every day. Heck, I might even follow through with a promise I made to myself earlier in the year and actually do that summer version of NaNoWriMo. *But remember yesterday’s post about lies…*

5. Guitar Urgency: Ink from a squid

I recently purchased my first electric guitar and it is a dream come true. I’ll post some bragging photos of it soon enough. I should also mention that this purchase has helped me write my second song ever. That’s right, played gitfiddle for over 10 years now…and have only just written my second song. Sad? Yes. But we’re all weird in our own ways.

6. Magic: the Gathering. Urgency: Number 2 Pencil

This could happen just once over the summer and I’d be thrilled with it. It’s like brain food for me.

7. Board game night. Urgency: Golf Pencil

Because who doesn’t like board games?

8. Decide if I’m going to buy a house or rent for another year. Urgency: Still don’t know but I suppose it has to be Ink.

Put this hear almost as a reminder to myself for a later date.

9. Buy new music. Urgency: Pencil (likely not sharpened enough)

It’ll happen when it happens. But every summer has a distinct sound for me. Some albums help to define what that year will be remembered as. Maybe I’ll write another time that will tell you what each season is represented by in my car’s CD player.

10 Spend one whole day in my underwear. Urgency: Pencil

Why? Because I’ve never done it before. It’s a personal challenge to myself to make me think I could actually pull this off. Stop judging me…you know you want to do the same.

11. Make some silly videos. Urgency: Pencil but underlined in ink.

This is just too much fun for me and I’m sure me and some friends will end up doing it at some point. Just hope they will have the same amount of free time as I will.

12. Apply for a passport. Urgency: Ink (but possibly the erasable kind)

It’s something I should have done long ago. I’m not sure how I’ll end up traveling all around the world without one. Especially when I’m going to be hired as the new personal assistant to the Secretary of State. I’m positive he wouldn’t mind if I spent a whole day in my underwear either.

13. Move some more marbles. Urgency: Pencil (but could be a colored pencil)

I’ll try trumping them up here soon enough. (But seriously, if you live in a country outside the U.S. I might be interested to mail you a marble for the sake of mailing you a marble.)

14. Exacting my revenge. Urgency: Ink

This is already happening. To whom is a non-issue for you. Unless, of course, you are the person in which the vengeance e will be coming to. In which case I highly advise that you get to cover and start praying. Oh…if you only knew of my plans.

15. Preparing for next school year. Urgency: Disappearing Ink

This is a must in the summer. I need to prepare better. If not I will likely drown by November.

16. Take my Pops out to the movies. Urgency: Ink

People should be nice to their parents more often, right?

Annnnnd….that will probably be my entire summer.

So what are you penciling in or inking in this summer?

D.A.

No I Didn’t

April 22, 2013

Anything you read here was a lie.

That sentence works both ways if you think about it too much. (Like I’m about to do for you.)

The word “read” could be written in the present tense. That means anything that you may read from this point forward on this blog is a falsification. An untruth. A deliberate misleading of what is correct.

The word “read” could also be written in the past tense. That means anything you have read on this site previously (but not necessarily currently) is an intentionally misguiding detail. An dishonorable utterance of the written kind. 

Late Edit: I think the original sentence uses the word “was” which may conjure up the idea that the word “read” must be read in the past tense (like that one right there). If I had substituted that word in question for “is” then maybe it would suggest the phrase is written in the present tense. Quite frankly, I haven’t taken an English class in some time, so if you have a recommendation on how to correct my ignorance, I would gladly accept your feedback. (But for now lets just pretend that I just said something witty and funny. Please return back to your table to your friends who don’t know me all that well and tell them that I’m just the best person you’ve met tonight and they should come my way. )

 

(Also, I should mention you’re buying into my fantasy that we’re at a fancy dinner party right now and you’ve come over to talk to me about my stunning top hat and monocle. You’re even pretending to be impressed with me.)

But in all honesty (which may or may not be real honesty based on our previous information) I haven’t blogged in a long time. It’s really felt like I’ve traveled through time in the ***four*** short months. It’s just happened so fast. 

Too fast.

So I’ve decided I need to start this thing back up again because it allows me to get some of that self reflection I really need. Also, it might give me the kick in the pants to help me reestablish my fingers into the metaphorical dirt that makes up this garden of life. Makes me feel like I’ve got things to contribute to this world.

See you shortly. (But that could mean 3 and a half weeks for all I know)

D.A. 

Dig it?

Sorry…these little jokes aren’t coming as easy to me as I had hoped.

Anyway.

:::Takes a Captain Morgan-esque stance:::

Onward!

 

 

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